He took it well
So long ago, a mate of mine went out on the lash with some of his friends.

He got out the taxi before the others and ran across the road to the first nightclub he saw, and went right in.

At the bar he heard the bouncer having a commotion with his other mates, not letting them in. He went over to enquire why they weren't being admitted.

"Because they're obviously not gay" was the bouncers reply.

Just because he's well groomed
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 18:55, 35 replies)

Discriminating on the basis of someone's sexuality?
That'd be illegal, now. They should sue.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 19:11, closed)

I think it's ok
When descriminating against hetrosexuals.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 20:08, closed)

Your 'thought' processes
are really quite special, aren't they?
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Fri 25 Nov 2011, 2:04, closed)

You really are a fucktard, aren't you.
Go away little boy. Or better still, post a picture of yourself crying.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 7:16, closed)

(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:28, closed)

For a QOTW about witty put-downs or comebacks
This doesn't really rate as high as "your mum" jokes. I'm not even trying at this ( I'm not spending time looking for pictures and uploading them, for example ) but you're STILL coming across as a bitter and angry little boy.

Why don't we agree to disagree. I've obviously upset you, and you've got to try to save face or make yourself feel better by hurling abuse from the safety of your little house. Why not call it quits here, or aren't you man enough?
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:26, closed)

nope. I'm not 'man' enough.
although I have bigger balls than you.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Sat 26 Nov 2011, 4:11, closed)

I'm sure you've scoured the internet for pictures of men's balls
But I assure you, mine aren't on there. You must be mistaking me for someone else. Maybe it's a child from your vast collection, if it's got small balls?
Or are you just a saggy-breasted old hag that only gets kicks from imagining the crap she posts is either witty or cutting? Hmmm....
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Sat 26 Nov 2011, 10:18, closed)

or are you just completely clueless?
(hint - YES)
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Sun 27 Nov 2011, 8:13, closed)

No ,I think I'm pretty close there.
You're quick to self-congratulate yourself, have erratic mood swings, are abusive and have admitted to attempt to wind me up. You've even sent me personal messages which goes to show you're probably a little bit more obsessed with me than you'd like to admit.

And I'm still laughing in your angry little face.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Sun 27 Nov 2011, 11:55, closed)

MOOD SWINGS?
ONLINE?
You take yourself pretty fucking seriously, don't you?
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Mon 28 Nov 2011, 1:04, closed)

At least I can
You'll always be a joke.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 8:37, closed)

sayeth the chap with the cock on the side of his shed.

(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:27, closed)

Instead of you, someone that is always acting like one.

(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 16:36, closed)

You're biased, though.
You view the world through cock-coloured lens.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Thu 1 Dec 2011, 2:25, closed)

Only you
Think of cocks as a colour. Play a big part in your life, do they?
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 7:20, closed)

'Didn't Know It Was A Gay Bar' lulz.
you're such a card, bro.

tell us the exciting bit that happened later on that wacky evening where one of your lad-mates chatted up a bird who turned out to have...dun dun dunnn...testicles! OMG!!1!11!
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Fri 25 Nov 2011, 2:08, closed)

I can't I wasn't there
Sounds like you were though...
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 7:17, closed)

how could I BE AT AN entirely fictional, poorly-told event?
That makes little sense, even for a tragic anal-compulsive like you.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Sat 26 Nov 2011, 4:13, closed)

What a complete fuckwit you are
Fictional? No. You're a bit of a twat for suggesting it is, really. Or do you know EVERYTHING now? Thought not.
I take it we've hit the limit of your reasoning powers now, and you're just off in your own little fantasy land...
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Sat 26 Nov 2011, 10:14, closed)

can't help yourself, can you?
still, I knew that when I began manipulating you. In fact, that's why I did it.
I knew that someone so fucking petty-minded that he's happy to look like a retard by placing his family crest - a poorly-crafted cock - on his property merely to harass someone would be good huntin'.

I was right.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Sun 27 Nov 2011, 8:15, closed)

Manipulating me? Ha!
Sounds like you're quite delusional. Glancing at my phone once in a while to swat away your puerile and childish comments isn't being manipulated. But you go on telling yourself that, if it's the only way you can find any pleasure in your pathetic little life.

I've been on quite a few courses for interview techniques when hiring staff, and you're ticking quite a few boxes for someone with repressed issues.

You've yet to be right about anything apart from admitting you're just trolling for self-gratification.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Sun 27 Nov 2011, 11:50, closed)

Oh. You've been
on quite a few courses, have you?
Goodness. you must be practically the same as a qualified psychologist.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Mon 28 Nov 2011, 1:03, closed)

Nope.
But clearly better suited to see your own problems than you can.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 8:36, closed)

go on another course.
really.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Mon 28 Nov 2011, 12:28, closed)

Dealing with fuckwits like you perhaps?
Should take at least 5 minutes, that course.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 16:37, closed)

I'd suggest
anger management.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Thu 1 Dec 2011, 2:24, closed)

You're a bit "special" aren't you
If you see posts as anger when I'm actually mocking you.
Anger would imply I'm actually bothered what you write. This is nothing more than amusement you'd get from watching a child arguing with an adult.

Seriously, get a life.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 7:18, closed)

Oi, you two,
get a room.
(MayorBoris, Sun 27 Nov 2011, 22:38, closed)

Sorry sir.
:-)
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Sun 27 Nov 2011, 23:00, closed)

Kiss-arse.

(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Mon 28 Nov 2011, 1:04, closed)

Please refrain from kissing my arse in public.

(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 18:27, closed)

Like I said,
a nice private room for this sort of behaviour.
(MayorBoris, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 9:54, closed)

I think I can manage that
you fucking simpleton.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Thu 1 Dec 2011, 2:26, closed)

Oooh.
Cutting remarks. Got nothing better than that?
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 7:17, closed)