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This is a question Devastating Put-Downs

Amorous Badger says: I once saw a former manager of mine being asked to 'sit down and let your mouth have a chance to speak' by his senior. What's the best heckle/putdown/riposte you've ever seen? (Hint: Recycled 'Your mum' jokes does not make an answer)

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:15)
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Not mine sadly
and I heard it secondhand so it may even be complete bollocks. It certainly smacks of the sort of response that you think of a couple of hours later and go "That would have been a BRILLIANT thing to say if only I'd thought of it then and not now"

Anyway. Friend of mine was (or so he claims) in a conversation with a god-botherer about the god they so liked to bother other people with - the Christian one, as you're asking. They were foolish enough to bust out the old "created the world in seven days" bullshit. The response ran as follows;

"The claim that god created the world in seven days might have seemed really impressive once, but with hindsight it just looks slapdash. You can't help but think that if he'd taken his time over it he could've done something about nettles."

Regardless of veracity, this is a fucking good point.
(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 15:35, 21 replies)
And wasps, now you mention it.

(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 16:52, closed)
Good point
We should compile a list and take them to a church, hold a little Q&A
(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:03, closed)
Well nettles presumably come under the "thorns and thistles" at Genesis 3:18,
as part of Adam and Eve's punishment after they get chucked out of Eden.

I can't account for wasps, mind.
(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:37, closed)
I am seriously impressed by your diligence
Now explain why one pair of twats whose only mistake was to indulge a curiousity which god was pretty fucking dumb to imbue them with in the first place have ruined woodland walks for everyone else.
(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:41, closed)
This is umpteen questions all at once,
but to be honest I think woodland walks are the least of our worries right now.
(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:47, closed)
Well that's dependent on scale
Least of our worries in terms of things god has ruined unnecessarily? Or in a global sense?

And, to continue the umpteen questions at once theme, what would you consider to be the greatest of our worries, if woodland walks is the least?
(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:49, closed)
The impending collapse of Western civilisation.

(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:50, closed)
Oh, THAT

(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:52, closed)
I was chatting to a God-botherer once...
I mentioned that a friend had a wife that was a "witch" (aka Bored Housewife Syndrome). He asked if she prayed to the mythical Gods.
I said her Gods were actually around before Christianity.
His reply?
"They couldn't have been. Mine created the Earth."

Hardly worth argusing against someone like that, is it!
(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:06, closed)
It could be
If you were enormously patient and got your kicks out of winding people up unnecessarily.

If you are, there's this board called /Talk...
(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:09, closed)
I don't think his problem was that he was a Believer
merely that he had the intellect of a particularly dull potato.
(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:22, closed)
You make it sound like these problems are mutually exclusive
or not intrinsically, fundamentally linked

*awaits holy smiting*
(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:23, closed)
I think you've hit the nail on the cross, err I mean head.

(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:23, closed)
You seem to be declaring the existence of your friend's pagan gods,
thus rendering yourself every bit as daft as the god-botherer you sought to mock.
(, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 8:29, closed)
Not at all
"her Gods were actually around before Christianity." doesn't mean the Gods actually existed, just that references to them did.

Not a complex idea to grasp.
(, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 18:31, closed)
Simple to grasp,
yet too complex for you to express, it would seem.
(, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:18, closed)
Sorry
I'll use shorter words and express myself clearer for the hard of thinking.
(, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 22:56, closed)
Best
use Crayons
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:39, closed)
Feh, arguing with Christians is like shooting particularly stupid fish in a very small barrel
It's like when the JW start banging on about Noah's Ark, and you ask them about the freshwater fish...
(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:35, closed)
Not to mention
Putting everything back in it's rightful place afterwards.

The sheer variety of creatures means they either had to categorize every type of insect, etc., or admit to evolution. Hmmm....

I wonder what the FSM's stance on this is?
(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:55, closed)
Reminds me of All Things Dull and Ugly by Monty Python
All things dull and ugly,
All creatures short and squat,
All things rude and nasty,
The Lord God made the lot.
Each little snake that poisons,
Each little wasp that stings,
He made their brutish venom.
He made their horrid wings.

All things sick and cancerous,
All evil great and small,
All things foul and dangerous,
The Lord God made them all.

Each nasty little hornet,
Each beastly little squid--
Who made the spikey urchin?
Who made the sharks? He did!

All things scabbed and ulcerous,
All pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul and gangrenous,
The Lord God made them all.

Amen.
(, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 20:15, closed)

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