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This is a question Devastating Put-Downs

Amorous Badger says: I once saw a former manager of mine being asked to 'sit down and let your mouth have a chance to speak' by his senior. What's the best heckle/putdown/riposte you've ever seen? (Hint: Recycled 'Your mum' jokes does not make an answer)

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:15)
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During an argument,
my then-girlfriend shouted at me "I'm sick of your pedanticness!" Without thinking I replied "Pedantry."
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:27, 26 replies)
the funniest thing about this
is the use of the word "girlfriend".
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 9:58, closed)
officeLOL

(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:10, closed)
No, the funniest thing about this
is his retort to his then-girlfriend. By correcting her, he only serves to reinforce her accusation of his pedantry!

These aren't as funny when you have to explain them.
(TheColonel, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:27, closed)
no no no
the funniest thing about this is him trying to claim that he has or has ever had a girlfriend.

please do try to keep up, there's a lovely colonel... x
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:34, closed)
No, they are not, are they?
It stops you having the laugh at the person missing the point completely, doesn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:36, closed)
i think he was pretending to miss the point
that i was pretending to miss

either that or you are pretending to miss him missing me missing it.

or something.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:48, closed)
I don't get what you are trying to say here.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:58, closed)
I don't even.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 11:06, closed)
I can think of lots of cases
where someone put someone else down by saying "as if YOU'D ever have a girlfriend!" or some variation on that.

Apart from rachelswipe, all of them happened in high school.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 12:59, closed)

pedanticness self-prostitution on internet forums
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:14, closed)

pedanticness theft of a better story from yesterday
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:14, closed)

pedanticness stunning lack of self-awareness
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:15, closed)
christ your the dullest, shittest person here

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:21, closed)
In the intrests of irony
its "most shit"
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:26, closed)
yeah but darth is the shittest

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:27, closed)
you're

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:36, closed)
This one does it on purpose, it thinks it's amusing or something.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:37, closed)
Not any more Quenders

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:40, closed)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:49, closed)
yeah your arrival sure lowered the tone

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 11:06, closed)
old joke is old

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:32, closed)
really, week in, week out, it's never stopped him before.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:34, closed)
I've mouseovered the whole thing and there's no link to his latest short story anywhere
I'm not sure it's actually him, it could just be another unfunny cunt using his login
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:36, closed)
Cheers!
Wait...which one are you again?
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:36, closed)

dantry nis
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:37, closed)
This is a true story
and therefore not copied off anyone else (although a post a page or so ago reminded me of the incident, and I might have posted it before).

If you don't believe me, I'll have to...um, I don't really care whether you believe me or not.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 12:57, closed)

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