What's the strangest thing you have done to yourself?
delibrately or accident
I once superglued my eye shut..oh good times
(ProfMadCat, Tue 22 Jan 2008, 22:07, Reply)

Accidents
I sustained a serious arm injury last week while fileting a trout while drunk. 36 stitches later......
Pick this for the QOTW and I'll provide gory pictures of my arm.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Jan 2008, 17:28, Reply)

Oh Bugger
Storys about times when you've blown up the chemistry lab or run over next doors cat.
( Trollman, Tue 22 Jan 2008, 15:57, Reply)

What's the furthest you've ever been from civilisation?
'Civilisation' consisting of proper food, bathing facilities, flushing toilet, people who speak English, decent telly, reliable phone reception etc.

Extra kudos for details of strange rituals, foods, sexual customs etc.
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Tue 22 Jan 2008, 15:39, 3 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Near death experiences
How close have you been to death? Sky diving with a dodgy parachute or an illicit affair with your Psycho mates girlfriend.
( Trollman, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 12:58, Reply)

Facebook
It's really getting on my tits now. All these applications that are nothing more than an attempt to measure your popularity with amusing *ahem* competitions. Who cares if you're a robot-zombie, pirate ensign. Please, someone design a worthwhile/actually amusing Facebook application.
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Sun 20 Jan 2008, 11:18, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Random pub comments
Has anyone collared you in a pub and given you the strangest insight into their twisted take on reality? Especially when you don't know them or are desperately trying to get away?




Those who went to the Todmorden soiree will know here I'm coming from with this idea!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sun 20 Jan 2008, 10:58, Reply)

Timekeeping
Are you always late? Do you have a mate/relative/Boss/whatever who has no sense of time and is always wasting yours? Just how annoyed do you get and what have you done to try to cure them?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sun 20 Jan 2008, 10:53, Reply)

Penfriends
Did your language teachers ever try to get you involved in a penfriend scheme? Did you ever meet that penfriend? And were there hilarious misunderstandings/ episodes of a sexual or violent nature when you did?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 12:46, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Soap dodging
Everyone has the odd day where they can't be arsed to have a shower, but occasionally, circumstances overtake and you end up spending days without seeing the inside of a bathroom.

What's the grottiest you've ever been?
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 15:59, Reply)

Get away with murder
Go on then, you know you want to...

if you were 100% guaranteed to get away with it, in fact lets say you had been chosen by a TV phone in to kill the person of your choice by the method of your choice, who would you choose? On live TV of course.

I'm torn between Jade Goody being fed very slowly into an industrial strength woodchipper, or maybe Mel Gibson strapped to a Black and Decker workbench and a very large Viagra'd up stallion bumming him to death. After coating it's schlong with iron filings, glass fibers, deep heat and Texas Insanity Chilli sauce of course.

Shelebrity, nonentity, politician, call center workers, figures from history or the Maths teacher who touched you in a special way.

Get in!
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 15:36, 4 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Bastard colleagues
You've all known one. The brown-nosing fucker, the 'comedian', the office drunk, the gossip and of course the weird one with no mates who goes bell ringing, looks like Mr Majika and sports a monks haircut (and is a woman).
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:35, 5 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

What's the funniest thing you have ever seen whilst on your travels?
Extra points for randomness spotted on public transport!*

*Might be a lie
(LadyTramp79 Left a bit, right a bit..., Thu 17 Jan 2008, 12:27, 3 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Things you wish you'd never said
We've all done it: blurted something out without thinking about it, and wished for the ground to swallow us up.

What have you said/done that you wish you could take back?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 10:36, 5 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Favours,NEVER AGAIN
As calmarain 3 posts below has said i,ll second his suggestion.
While undressing to go out,in my bedroom there where a few clothes scattered about which needed a wash. After grabbing a big pile and getting to the top of the stairs i slipped and broke my big toe....FUCKING OUCH
(andycrass loves two hats on, Wed 16 Jan 2008, 22:11, Reply)

freaky habits
do you have a lucky object - or do you have a lesser form of OCD - where if you dont switch the light on and off 5 times before you enter the room you think the world will end.

has it ever resulted in bad luck when you dont use it /do it ?
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Wed 16 Jan 2008, 12:46, Reply)

Noise Pollution
Everyone has a story about a noisy neighbour or indeed a pikey car full of hooded rats who exist only to bring misery on everyone who has to put up with "Drum and Bass" (prounounced "Baas" as in "Sea Bass"), or maybe even a deaf relative who tells you the time whenever you ask them if you can turn the TV on to watch Countdown.

Share your stories here...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 16 Jan 2008, 10:26, Reply)

Gone wrong.
Something nice and simple...

Have you ever tried to do something nice for someone that actually made things much much worse?
(calamarain just invented dehydrated water, Wed 16 Jan 2008, 3:56, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Experiments gone wrong
originally I was thinking of you're own little chemistry set but upon reflection it could be any kind of experiment (including sexperimentation? at a risk of attracting the strange type to this site... oh.)

Anyone posting "Marrying" will be sentenced to life imprisonment.
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 0:42, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Stunned silences
I took my then seven year old to the annual interisland championship final football match. Standing next to hardcore opposition fans we were aware of some "ripe" terrace chanting but managing to resist responding "for the children's sake" when aforementioned child wanting to fit in with the rest of the crowd leaps to his feet points at one particularly large, balding and rabid gentlemen and screams "You fat pasta". Entire section of terrace goes silent then sits down unsure of how to proceed. I didn't have the heart to correct him (but do blame myself).

Have you ever witnessed/caused the silencing of an entire group of people?
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Mon 14 Jan 2008, 12:13, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Hillarious illness...
This weekend I have unfortunately been struck down with the norovirus which has resulted in the often simulataneous act of blowing chunks whilst producing masses of bum-sick.

Its terrifying, smelly, painful & noisy... but somehow hillarious.

What amusing ailments & god awful states have you found yourselves in that you just can't help but laugh about?
( the dalai farmer always likes tea, but especially on, Sat 12 Jan 2008, 22:12, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Revenge Stories redux.
It's been four years since you last asked, and it's one of my favourites to read.
( Lightguy hail satan, Sat 12 Jan 2008, 20:37, Reply)

inexplicably remembered!
i can sing the theme tune to hamwich by bernard matthews and know that whitechapel car auction's number used to be 677 1422 - purely because of grim 80's radio advertising. what's your brain filled with for no good reason??

altho the lyrics to the hamwich were legendary - i'll show my boobs to anyone who can recall them all.....
( sir loafalot ended an eon of lurking on, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 19:35, Reply)

funeral music
i went to a funeral today and it got me thinking about the fragility of mortality and my own funeral...

the lady today went out to tom jones "it's not unusual"; my nan went out to kool and the gang "celebrate"... i have demanded to go out to the benny hill theme tune and insist on ushers etc walking backwards and forwards a couple of times in fast motion before they bow before the coffin

what tune would you go out to?
( sir loafalot ended an eon of lurking on, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 18:53, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

random conversations
What is the most random thing you have discussed in a serious manner?

yesterday we pondered over if you were in a fire and your eyelids burnt off could they be replaced with bits of foreskin?
(Barry Chuckle has gone out in the thong to feed the pigeons, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 7:51, Reply)

Things Mums say
"Two hands, it's a glass"
"I just want two minutes peace"
"I'll give you something to cry about"
"Have you washed your hands"
"What's the magic word?"
"I don't intend telling you again"
"When I was your age..."

There are loads of these and they / we all say them. It's almost as though every mother went to Mummy school and attended the same class - 'Mum Cliches level 1'.
( seeballs Doo da da doo da da doo da da doo, da da doo da do, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 12:21, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Munters.
Surprisingly there doesn't seem to be a QOTW about ugly people. They are people too, you know.
(hnry just had a vowel movement, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 1:01, 1 reply, 17 years ago)