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This is a question Crappy relationships

"Recently," Broken Arrow tells us, "The missus informed me that her brother was moving with us." What has your partner done that's convinced you the magic's gone? "Breathe" is not an answer.

(, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:33)
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"Thing is, I've kind of been sleeping with someone else. But I didn't tell you because I didn't want to hurt you..."
Oh. Well that makes it all-fucking-right-then. Lunatic girls: the main reason I'm single...
(, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 20:16, 19 replies)
That and your back hair...oh god... the back hair...

(, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 20:25, closed)
i was just going to say
what is the other reason, thanks falstaff!
(, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 20:27, closed)
The other reason?
Court order....
(, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 20:28, closed)
oh yeah
sorry about that, bloody lawyers, eh?
(, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 20:32, closed)
You find yourself in a church at midnight, naked, with half a pound of organic loganberries and suddenly everyone's against you.

(, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 20:50, closed)
You don't have to explain what you were doing naked in the fishmarket at 4am
...we've all been there.
(, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 9:41, closed)
If you'd just got yourself a really long-handled razor, none of it need ever have happened...

(, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 20:33, closed)
Lunatic boys do this, too.
"But I didn't LIE to you, I just didn't say anything. I tried to save your feelings."

Ah, the selflessness...

Point is, all people are crap, and singledom is based on having a low crap threshold.
(, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 21:06, closed)
^This.

(, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 16:25, closed)
So why are the lunatic ones always so good in bed?

(, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 21:08, closed)
If somebody ever calls me a 'crap lay'...
...I will take it as a compliment.
(, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 21:13, closed)
I'll call you whatever you want, dear
Now, please, put down the knife and let me go....
(, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 21:21, closed)
Daddy?

(, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 21:27, closed)
Well that'll be confusing
But I'll try. But afterwards you have to say "oh what a lovely tea party."
(, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 21:45, closed)
because they have no self-respect
it's fucking awesome.
(, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 22:45, closed)
I don't know
My last girlfriend was a lunatic with no self-respect and more notches than bedpost - and she was shit. Shockingly, her handjobs were actually the worst I've ever received - you'd think with the 19 cocks she'd been able to practice with beforehand she might have amounted some skill.

Her sex was similarly dire, and her cunt smelt like mouldy broccoli.
(, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 23:46, closed)
Maybe I've been surrounded by debauchery for too long...
but I don't think 19 is terrifyingly high unless she was like, 17. 370-odd with 94 in a single year, now that's high. True story. No-one I was involved with though.

Also eeew broccoli.
(, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 9:21, closed)
I want
to throw up a little now!
(, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 14:31, closed)

with molten cheddar on it?
(, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 15:38, closed)

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