When I got this answer phone message:
“Hey...er... oh I’d hoped to speak to you but you must be in work... Sorry to leave this message. Well, erm... remember I called you last night? And I was a bit drunk? Well I sort of got a lot more drunk. And I lost my friends.... but I got a lift home from these three random guys. Erm... well I thought they were a taxi and one of them had really cute eyes so I let him shag me on the back seat... and then then I kind of drunkenly figured that the other two would feel left out so I let them shag me too. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I felt really guilty this morning so I went to see my ex-ex-boyfriend.... and I’ve sort of shagged him too. Erm. Sorry?”
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:53, 24 replies)

You went out with a slag AICMFP

( girlinthehole, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:56, closed)

Yep
The warning signs were there early when she came round in floods of tears after we'd been dating for about a month and told me she'd just broken up with her, previously unknown to me, boyfriend...
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:58, closed)

Hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:00, closed)

Yeah
that was an interesting afternoon of confusion...
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:04, closed)

At least it was nice of her...
to keep you informed
( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:59, closed)

Well its good to talk

(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:01, closed)

...fuck.

(ratthingbazzterd, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:12, closed)

Yes. Clearly she did.

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:34, closed)

Which lifelong afflictions and ailments has she passed on to you?
I've ticked off syphilis already.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:21, closed)

A possibly irrational dislike of blonde girls
the rest I sorted with a good scrub down with a bog brush and soap. That's how it works, right?
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:26, closed)

All the scratching *down there* , painful foul penile discharges and bleeding from your bumhole
I know you've tried to brush it under the carpet, but it ain't normal. You need the clap clinic.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:32, closed)

Clap Clinic?
That's like some sort of hippy theatre right?
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:39, closed)

you've got the dela aids.

(waxdart hello., Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:03, closed)

Paging Dr Feelgood

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:11, closed)

Sir,
The lady was a tramp..
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:03, closed)

Did she look like a porn-star?

( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:31, closed)

Tired, washed out, and a crack addict?

(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:34, closed)

well, I had images of Syvlia Saint in her prime, but
mikeresponts.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/heidifleissmug1.jpg
( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:38, closed)

Nah
picture a blonde with a slightly sneering smile, an obsession with coffee and a heavy Brummie accent.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:42, closed)

Pwnt

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:37, closed)

Thats like the 5th time you've said 'pwnt'
It is quite grating

OP - was she hot? Did they dom up? Sounds like a good porno.
(lemonadegame, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 1:36, closed)

Just an ordinary looking blonde girl
None of the obligatory massivedrugs/hondaaccord/supermodels I'm afraid.

Dunno if they dom'd up, only saw her once again after that call and that was pretty brief.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 10:11, closed)

Does your mam leave messages like that all the time then?
(evilneb nothing to see here, move along.., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 7:37, closed)

Yeah, shes got me on speed dial

(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 10:09, closed)