Happy Happy Birthday That's What We've Come To Say
My parents are both high school teachers, and years ago they had possibly the worst boss in history. He had earned the nickname "Crazy" (not inventive, but applicable) from years of insane behavior.

Anyway, he was eventually fired, and yesterday he happened to sit near us in Lone Star Steakhouse. As my parents kept giving him the finger under their tables, I devised a plan.

As we were leaving, I told two waitresses that it was the offending former boss's birthday, thus making him the recipient of two highly annoying conga lines of waitresses singing the restaurant "Birthday Song", something that I'm sure most of us are aware of and something of which most of us do not want to be on the recieving end.

I hope that's what pushes him over the edge.
(deilbfe6ogcshnbcryjh, Sun 16 May 2004, 16:09, Reply)

Arf, sorry for not putting these all in one post.
This is not so much a tale of revenge as a tale about irony. But I digress:

We have an evil maths teacher who we continually lock out of the room when she goes to the photocopier. So one day, this new girl Petra gets promoted to our (top) set. Tradition demands that she go and lock the door.

Maths teacher comes back, gets annoyed, and starts banging on the door (cause she's left her keys inside). Petra goes to the door and unlocks it, probably feeling guilty. The teacher flys off into one and says that we're all bastards, except Petra, who is "the only sensible one here" and "an example to us all."
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Sun 16 May 2004, 13:23, Reply)

Oh, I so nearly forgot this one. But it does own.
There's this kid, let's call him Anthony, who goes to our school. So one day we're in a lesson up in the gym. The PE teacher goes downstairs from the gym for some reason and up comes Anthony, bunking as usual. He chats to everyone for a bit. Now Anthony is not well liked among certain circles, several of whom were present. So when the PE teacher was coming back up, his mates helped him hide in one of the big, rolled-up mats used for running on and stuff. He fit right into the middle, snug as a bug in a rug.

Of course, what he didn't count on was that people would start punching the mat he'd hidden in. This didn't hurt Anthony much, just made the mat wobble a bit to scare him. But one boy, he went a load over the top and flying-kicked the mat over. It fell down and the PE teacher came over to give a lecture abuot damaging school equipment.

The look on the PE teacher's face when the mat said "Ow!" was priceless.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Sun 16 May 2004, 13:13, Reply)

school days.....
my mates who were in the cricket team had a match against some other school. my mates had already gotten changed and left the changing room. then these twunts from the other school come in to get change, and trash the room, throwing mates clothes round etc. so my mates come back in, and not being the sharpest crayons in the box decide simply to throw their stuff around. however one of the guys, who is normally a very calm bloke, never one to partake in vengeance grabs their bottles of suncream, whips out the little fellow and dutifully pisses into each. then the entire team just sat back and watched the blokes from the other school liberally applying suncream to arms, necks and of course, faces.
(cap'nj, Sun 16 May 2004, 12:41, Reply)

That bastard
when i was younger, i discovered my live-in bf was cheating on me with this skanky broad, she was staying over on the weekends when i had to work out of town and she left a bottle of vag. deoderant. When i discovered the bitter, ugly truth i moved out, but before i left i put a liberal amount of chile oil in her cnut perfume, i heard she and the asshloe ex had to go to the ER....... as they had a nasty burning sensation.........hahaha
(La Chockita, Sun 16 May 2004, 10:50, Reply)

A girl once told me my boyfriend was ugly
So in revenge, I took her boyfriend.
Seems only fair.
(NewWhit : Paul Club, Sun 16 May 2004, 10:24, Reply)

Swallow one last time
Upon leaving the marital home for the last time I added some extra protein to my ex-wifes favorite drink Tia Maria. I was most destressed to find out she'd thrown me a leaving party I was unable to attend. However, it does give me great satisfaction that she and her friends swallowed one last time.
(CupboardOfMystery, Sun 16 May 2004, 7:58, Reply)

drink up
At our high school in Oz we had a fundraiser dealie where students in years 7 to 11 could "buy" a year 12 "slave" for the day. Me and my mates got bought by a bunch of year 7 girls who thought they were cool shit. After doing the usual stuff like "do my schoolwork" and the like, they decided that they were hungry and that we should go buy some hot chips and coke from the local shops, AND that we should pay for it. After having enough of their demands, i agreed. we drove and bought some chips, and ate them ourselves. We then proceeded to a mates place and got an nearly empty 2L bottle of coke. we decided to fill up this bottle with any possible disgusting liquid we could find. Fish sauce, tobasco, etc was used to fill it up. then we made it the colour of coke by using soy sauce. with the little bit of coke in it, it even had a fizz. it looked perfect. we took it back to school and gave it to them, only to result in them drinking it, puzzling about it and offering it to more of their friends. They eventually realised and were no longer feeling all too great. Suckers.

You might find this method to be of great assistance when sharing a flat with theiving bastrds.
(woobwoob, Sun 16 May 2004, 7:09, Reply)

At my university most of the dorms are co-ed, but a very few are girls-only.
I lived in a co-ed dorm, but the dorm next door to mine was all girls, and a lot of my friends lived there. They had a very strict 'no boys after 11 pm' rule, which everyone except the people in charge was usually willing to ignore, in sympathy to people with/trying to get boyfriends.

One of my good friends, however, had a roomate who pushed this rule just a little too far. She would bring gentlemen into the dorm at all hours of the night and early morning, often several at once. And these were not polite, respectable fellows.

My friend apparently tolerated this for about half a semester, as she didn't want to cause trouble and get busted for having her (very nice, very awesome) boyfriend stay over some weekends. One night her roomie brings home two drunk jock types, and proceeds to get frisky with only one. Leftover jock tries to molest my friend, gets told to get the hell out, threatens to assault her with cooking implements.

Obviously that was the last straw.

My friend enlists the help of me and numerous other friends of ours, all of whom (alas, myself included) happen to be in this university's art school. We scheme. We wait for an opportune moment, counting on this girl's utterly shameless behavior to be repeated.

Sure enough, next weekend, she leaves for a night of partying around 9 pm. We go to work. We finish up, and camp out in the room across the hall to see what there is to be seen. She is observed entering her room in the wee hours with four (count 'em, four!) large males. After about 5 minutes all four come barging out, horror on their faces, closely followed by the hussy, pleading ineffectually.

So what had we done? The metals major in our group of friends had managed to whip up a large set of chains and bars and things, which he had bolted to the ceiling directly above her bed. It was actually just a mess and wouldn't have held anyone (hey, we're art students, not engineers), but if you didn't actually examine it it looked like some awful S&M device.

The two photography majors, who happened to be gay, had taken some lovely black and white photographs of men in, er, compromising positions. With other men. These had been blown up to astonishing proportions using the art school plotter, and stuck to the walls of the offending side of the room.

A couple of the art students who were into bands and such (there are always tons of these in any art school) had whipped up some sound tracks of orgasmic vocal glee and mixed these with sounds of chainsaws and whippings. This was put on a CD and replaced the 'hot sex bad rap' CD this girl always kept in her stereo for such occasions.

Some other bits were added, such as satanic drawings involving male torment or other things that would creep out football-type college guys posted up all over the place (as the illustrator in the group, this was mostly my doing), creepy voodoo-looking dolls all over the bed, etc.

Too bad that the four guys she tried to seduce that night were all extremely popular in the circles she moved in. Some very interesting rumors got out very fast and went very far. And in addition to all the havoc this played with her social life, the Residence Adviser for her hall got to hear about it and wrote her up for having males in the dorm after hours.

God bless art students.

8 thousand apologies for length, I'm a loquacious bugger.
( TheFelineAnarchist, Sun 16 May 2004, 6:38, Reply)

The Ungodly Wee Hours
On a trip to Italy with about fourty kids and six teachers, it was only two days into the trip when the girls decided to pull a prank on the boys. The load of us got teachers in on it and with some great teamwork, got the boys convinced they were in trouble because during a room check, someone found liquor bottles (acquired by one of the teachers and stashed by the girls). After threats of being sent home, and many of the boys looking terrified, we spilt the beans and laughed our arses off. Naturally, we knew they would get us back.

Fast forward to several days later in Assisi. We're sharing a hotel with a very lage French tour group and as luck should have it, my room has vast amounts of drama the one night we're there. I go to bed unhappy since I did not have a chance to get things off my chest, knew full well I would get snapped at in turn if I did, and we have to wake up at 5:30 to get to Sorrento.

Everybody congregates in the main lobby, packed and ready to go around 5:30. We are all exhausted and fit to pass out. It then hits us that there are only girls in the lobby. We've been played. Even though they were supposed to get us up at 4:30, it still pisses me off enough to go for a mile walk. It kept me from socking a bitchy friend and the resident racist Arab in the jaw, but I certainly wasn't happy for the rest of the trip.

We never got them back. Damn.
(DeadCats, Sun 16 May 2004, 6:36, Reply)

Well, seeing as this topic is still open..................
MODEDIT - please do not use b3ta for posts like this.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 16 May 2004, 5:17, Reply)

Betrayed
Was once stabbed in the back by a woman I thort was a friend. Turns out she'd been screwing me and all my friends over, telling lies etc.

Wrote a booklet about it, and all the other shit she'd been up to and accidntally left some copies at Tesco (where she worked) and Next (where she had a job interview). Never saw her work there. Funny that.
( TechImp is trying to be nice (with great difficulty)., Sun 16 May 2004, 2:55, Reply)

Bingo.
When I left school I worked in a bingo club and the boss was an absolute cunt. I don't mean he was just a cunt of a boss - he was the most thoroughly despicable person in every way that I'd ever met. I lasted about 9 months. Years later, for reasons too boring to go into, I was installed as the Financial Director of the firm that owned the club and went about a thorough audit on the place as it was losing money. I uncovered a massive 'fiddle' and the end result was he and his assistant got sent down for four years and did two. I attended every single court appearance and was smiling straight at him while he was sentenced. I loved every last minute of it and still fall asleep smiling even now.
( routine has perfected burgers, Sun 16 May 2004, 2:19, Reply)

Fun with compasses
There was a few guys back in middle school who had a nasty habit of going around hitting people on their upper arms.

As it happened, we were studying geometry at the time, so I decided to play a trick on them using a compass. When one of them got near, I put the compass inside my sweater and waited for the inevitable punch, while telling him it wasn't worth it. All three fell for the same trick and punched the pointy edge of a compass.

Revenge is sweet.
(twatish twat, Sun 16 May 2004, 1:33, Reply)

my revange story
i am fifteen now, this is my revange story which has been going for three years. when i was twelve there was a kid named "john" shall we say, i am changing the names so that if he stumbles upon this he will not know it is me. so to start the story, john evoked my anger one day in seventh grade when he humilated me in front of my classmates, i will tell you now its not a big deal, but then it was. so to start my plans i quickly become friends with him, like the book of war says ( or whatever you call it ) "keep your friends close, keep your enemys closer" so we quickly became the best of friends. now first i went after the girl he wanted most, "susie" he constently told other people that he liked her, luckily he never told me. so i quickly went out with her, cuz yes she was hot, and yes i wanted him to be hurt. so when he came to me and told me he liked her, i of course was shocked! (sarcasm) for the rest of the year i made sure to accidently get cought by him when i was making out with her, fingering her, etc. but my friends, that is only the begining. now that i had broken his heart, i had to move to physical pain. i signed up for wieght training with him, now can you see where this is going. one day while i was spotting him i accidently dropped the wieghts, causing the wieghts to fall on his chest and almost killing him, my bad, i didnt want it to go that far. so i quickly decided to tame down my revange, and only went with small things. so its three years later, and i am still exsacting my revange. oh yes, i almost forgot to mention, he had a girlfriend this year, now im going out with her, a broken heart hurts worse then a body part, trust me. lol.
(feradais, Sun 16 May 2004, 0:54, Reply)