i know its not the point of this qotw but i feel the need to defend my township
norwich might be many things. it is small. it is in the middle of nowhere. it is surrounded by countryside. it is filled with yobs and chavs. it did not, until recently, actually have a public library or a public swimming pool. it might be racist, inbred and people do actually say 'ets roight gud' and 'hent et'.

but

it is NOT filled with farms and i am NOT a farmer. i completely resent these allegations. norwich is a city and it would not be a city if it had farms in it.

and scarily enough, most people outside norwich not only mention that everyone from there is a farmer but believe it too.

now great yarmouth... yikes! that is a pit.
(ladyintheradiator, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 0:38, 14 replies)

Norfolk'n'good.
repeat.
( Want Bartender Time gentlemen please.., Fri 30 Oct 2009, 2:14, closed)

where...?
Is Norwich, and Great Yarmouth? Are they close to each other? I always thought Great Yarmouth was near Bristol (Avonmouth, Yarmouth...see my thinking there?) And Norwich sounds north but obv isn't....I guess....
( curvylittlegoth heard the voices in your head on, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 2:38, closed)

Norwich and Yarmouth
are about 20 miles apart.

Yarmouth is East of Norwich, right on the coast, or should that be 'roight on the coost'?
(porkinator is a Rock n Roll nerd!, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:23, closed)

Norwich library
There has been a library in Norwich for years, it burnt down in about 1994 but was up and running again in about 2001.

I love Norwich. Lived there for 4 years and still have a good few mates there. Fat Cat and the Murderers. I got family round that way too....
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:27, closed)

I had a girlfriend from Norwich ( and her sister - but another story)
She told me the mnemonic squaddies used to put on the backs of letters (ever heard of SWALK-'sealed with a loving kiss'?) stood for Nickers Off Ready When I Come Home.

And bless her, they always were.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 30 Oct 2009, 10:00, closed)

Norwich A fine city
This sign, on the road into Norwich, always makes me smile, as it's one of the few town signs that actually sounds like something one of the locals might say, although, I'm sure that it should be spelt foine.
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 10:06, closed)

Norwich, you say?
I made my only visit as an adult this summer. I was actually visiting my sister in one of its satellite villages, and wanted to watch the second Lions Test, it being about the most important rugby game of the year.

My sister lives a stone's throw from *the* pub, so I wandered down about an hour before kick-off, to find it was basically a small room with a 14" TV in the corner and three elderly couples picking at ploughman's lunches.

"Errm, are you showing the rugby?" I ambitiously ask.

Shake of head from crone behind bar.

"Any idea where they might be showing it?"

Shrug of shoulders, followed by the names of what I presume are Norfolk towns. Rush back to my sister's to look at Google Maps, then decide a local rugby club might be the best bet. Set off sans atlas, miss a crucial turn, and find myself on the road to Norwich.

"Never mind", thinks I, "I'm on a major road, so I'll just stop at the first pub with one of those big 'Sky Sports here' banners". None are forthcoming, and the couple I speculatively stop at are also full of old people eating lunch. Next thing I know I'm in Norwich, so again stop at a large pub to try my luck.

"Nope, we bain't got Skoy", trills the barmaid, but scratches her head (literally and figuratively) while she tries to think of a place that might. She gives me a possible option, and I think I've struck gold when I arrive, as I finally see one of those massive white tarpaulins stretched the length of the exterior proclaiming its possession of a Sky box. At this point the game has kicked off and I'm listening on Five Live.

My hopes are dashed though as the pub seems to be the nexus of the local singlet, tattoos and pit bull set, who are intently staring at horse racing on a big screen. They have no interest in the rugby, but are very helpful and draw me a map on the back of a betting slip showing me how to get to the "sports bar" in town. This turns out to be an old cinema, with about six elderly gents watching the Lions game on a big screen, and a barman with one and a half arms.

And after all that we lost the game with the last kick.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 11:17, closed)

PS
My youngest sister lives in Norwich, but her main hobby is bellringing, so I don't think she has sophisticated tastes...
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 11:18, closed)

well said, Norwich is ace :)

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:27, closed)

Norwich
Yes, but what do you think about the pedestrianisation of Norwich Cty Centre?
(Treacle Cock, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 20:30, closed)

city centre
dont think anything tbh. gentleman's walk is meant to pedestrian but that doesnt stop anyone.
(ladyintheradiator, Sun 1 Nov 2009, 18:07, closed)

Well
if it is anything like the job they did widening* the pavements on Unthank Road then if will be a right f**k up ...


* and then narrowing again so that 2 buses could pass with out touching.
(Biff..., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 16:55, closed)

For those of you who hint from round 'ere
Norwich
(Pronounced Naaaaaaridge)
In the east of England was invented in 1923 and is kept in Norfolk where it has lived for the past 86 years. Norwich has a population of approximately 2500 of which 2438 are related to each other and the rest are classed as furriners who have decided to settle in Norwich from beyond the great Horizon. Many people still believe that if you travel past Thetford (The Great Horizon) you will fall off the edge of the world and be devoured by DELIA the Great Star Goat. Norwich was built by Nicholas Parsons, a man of the cloth for somewhere to keep his racing pigeons. The project, however, soon grew and rapidly became a sprawling city filled with "Pointless Super Heroes"

These Include: (if you're from Norwich you WILL know these people!!)

THE PUPPET MASTER
Special Ability: Hypno Puppets that stun and mesmerise passers by with their inane jumping up and down to Des O Connor Cd's. He is actually a multi-millionaire, having left his successful career as a merchant banker to "give something back to the people"

FLUTE MAN
Special ability: Plays a flute at ranges far beyond those of the human ear Unfortunately the ones that are in the range of the human ear are vastly out of tune.

BAG WOMAN
Special Ability: Knockout BO Has a huge array of technical gadgetry hidden away in her shopping trolley full of various, mysterious bags.

MARIGOLD
Special Ability: Traffic Direction Although no longer around, MARIGOLD was one of the true Norwich Super Heroes, equipped with a flourescent JAcket or vest and bright yellow marigold gloves, you would find him, in times of National Emergency, defending the City by standing on a traffic roundabout directing the traffic. Unfortunately, quite a few people actually took notice of what he was telling them to do, resulting in the building of Norwich Union Insurance Department.

THE INCREDIBLE MARKET TWINS
Special Ability: Flower Selling although conceived during a radioactive storm and genetically altered to look identical, these dynamic duo are far from it. Dressed in their costumes, Green & yellow for one, Blue & White for another, these colourful fengibbons are anything but identical.

RADIO MAN
This remarkable chap loves his sport so much he's a wannabee commentator, also known to be a bit of a Karaoke king, using not a microphone but an old 1970's transistor radio glued to one ear, you've gotta love this guy, who provides entertainment when waiting for a bus outside the central big 'D' department store.


Vocabulary
Here are some useful Norwich phrases and words:
Naarigde Yoonyun - Major Norfolk and Sri-Lankan employer
Thang Kyer - Spoken at high speed, used by Norfolk shop assistants when accepting money.
How're yer getting arn buh? - Norfolk greeting
Rup Bah - Variation on the above
Hair - Here
Shicagoo's - Nightspot on Prince of Wales Road, Norwich
Bare - Sold by the pint in Shicagoo's
Is that roight? - Comment to show that attention is being paid to the speaker
Ass a Jook - I'm just kidding
Khazi - Suburb on the western edge of Narridge
Tross - Suburb on the southside of Narridge
Windam - Small town south of Narridge (Sensible abbreviation of it's proper name : Wymundimunidundim)
Loose-tarfed - East coast fishing port
Card - Traditionally eaten with chips, might well have been caught off Loose-tarfed
KooDee - Discount shop at the top of St Stephens, Norwich
Hum Base - DIY store
Fooze - Electrical component on sale at Hum Base
Fool - Petrol or Diesel
Drive you steady bor - please drive with more care
Gu tehec buh - my, how surprising
Stoop ud - Term applied to very silly people
Gatoo - Sticky chocolate cake
Foo too or Fota - Get these developed at Boots
Sproight - Fizzy lemon drink
Boost - To Brag about ones achievements
Jargon - Like running, but at a more leisurely pace
Ar ya orrite, bor - Good Morning
Ar ya orrite, bor - Good Afternoon
Ar ya orrite, bor - Good Evening
Hay ya gittin arn tagether? - Hello
Yow siller owld fule - Comment made to someone displaying "backward" tendancies
How fer ar ya doin' bor? - How are you?
Loight arse - Lighthouse
Haysbra (Happisburgh) - Coastal village with a loight arse
Hunstan Hunstanton - Coastal village
Furriners - People who come from anywhere outside of Thetford
Thas a rumman - Not quite up to scratch
Blast Bor, yow git a ding-a-tha-lug - I'm going to hit you now
Fare t' middlin - I'm doing quite well
Bishy Barny Bee - A Ladybird
Thas a Bit on the Huh - That's a bit wonky/uneven
Traa'er - a farming vehicle
dicka - horse
ha' yer farver gorra dicka, bor? - does your father own a horse
cumbine airvista - an agricultural vehicle
carra rud - a place where narj people go to watch their football team lose
ur day - to day
wot yoo up to urday - what are you doing today
ouver hair / ouver ere - im over here
i / yoo/ ee/ shee gooo - i/ you / hee/ she went to/ goes to
ci'ee - as in naaarch ci'ee a place for shopping
noo idare - no idea/ don't know
gunna - going to
Lully ole jarb (Lovely old job) = Excellent
(Biff..., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 16:52, closed)

norwich
isn't that in the south-west of england?
( Allisade would love to hear from you, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 17:41, closed)