I was slightly peckish, so went for some nibbles.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 10:25, Reply)

I went to a property auction where Sir Sean Connery was the auctioneer
I got the shack.
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 8:48, 3 replies)

father christmas and a postman and a coal delivery man from the 1950s
coz theyv'e all got a sack lol whoop!!!!!!!!:-))))))))))!)!)!))!)!
(SlantedScience, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 2:03, 5 replies)

Andi Peters

(Andrew Avetoom, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 23:28, 5 replies)

I got sacked
for refusing to launder money, for a major manufacturer of household goods that was easily profitable based just on honest revenues.

Fucked up my career. Took several years to undo the damage. Integrity has a price - at least I can look myself in the mirror. The people engaging in that naughty activity now cant look themselves in mirrors as prison cells dont have them.
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 22:21, 1 reply)

I got the sack for stabbing the head of Aston Martin in the head. IN THE FUCKING HEAD.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 21:21, 17 replies)

sacked
i have been sacked for diffing the works transit on the ice at the airport,taking time off for being ill, causing £560 worth of damage to a conveyor system, and getting caught speeding. thats 4 seperate ones, to cut a long story short, i am totally unemployable. i currently have 4 different jobs which i juggle, i think thats the way forward. a few days here and there, and none of them see enough of you to get sick of you.
;-)
(terryhoosh remembers when this was all fields, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 20:07, 1 reply)

My dog was an ex-police dog, but couldn't be trained to their standards.
he was sacked. The sack was then closed, weighed down with bricks and slung into a canal.
( Muns, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 19:01, 5 replies)

my dad was fired from the priesthood.
fucking kids.
( Muns, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 18:56, Reply)

Rolf Harris
Is going to sack his lawyer for bringing his daughter into court to testify even though he asked him to not to.

Stay about from my Bindi
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 18:08, Reply)

A squaddie friend of mine was told to walk in step from one place to another

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 16:40, 2 replies)

I heard mm lost his job as quietly sanctimonious board prefect for scraping a hole in the bottom of the meme barrel.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 15:37, 3 replies)

I once had a job, ferrying supermodels around in my Honda Accord.
They paid me in cocaine, and all I had to do was to subjugate their bushes.
All was going well (I was getting more poon then I knew what to do with), until I woke up.
Turned out that I'd hit the sack, and dreamt that I was George!
Long story short, I went for a bath to calm my nerves, and accidentally pissed in my own mouth.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 14:03, 19 replies)