While I was a student
I used to work in an off licence directly underneath the flat I used to live in - I rented a room in a house with a family of five.

Yes, we could drink as much stock as we wanted - but we had to pay for it (full price, too, no staff discount or anything).
I had just closed up one night, on the phone to a girl I liked at the time, when a mate pulled up in his ancient Fiat - so I finish the call and let him in.
"I've got a bottle of vodka!" he explained - "AND some greenery!"
Well, we couldn't really smoke in the house - as it wasn't MY house to smoke in - but I did have the keys to the off licence - and we did used to smoke in the stock room.

So, we drank the vodka, smoked some weed, then got cracking into the beers in the stock room. A literally limitless supply! We were having quite a good laugh, carried on being daft 'till about 3:00 in the morning - then went upstairs to crash out. We were just entering the house when the youngest son - probably 15 or so - enquired "did you see the cops 'round here earlier?"
I said we hadn't.
"Yeah, about two o'clock - two of them sniffing about right outside the offy back doors" he explained.

Christ. Well, they didn't knock on the offy's back door, and there was no sign of them now = no problem.

Went to bed, woke up, my mate left. Eventually went to work again later in the day - when my boss pulls me aside and asks me: "Why was the silent alarm pressed at 1:45 in the morning?"

Turns out - while I was having a much needed piss, my mate was wondering what the unusual switch was on the wall of the stock room, and pressed it. Pressed it several times, in fact, as nothing appeared to be happening. Hence the police turning up and mooching about - luckily we had tidied up all of the massive drugs though, I never got it in the neck for that. Was kicked out of work there and then.

The next week I started a job in the town hall - which eventually paid about £250 a week. This was tax free as I was a student - five times as much as what I was earning in the offy! Socially ruined my weekends, but the drinks were free (absolutely NO stock control), and it gave me experience of working behind a bar, managing staff, and working as a supervisor in a food court in a leisure centre. Great job, terrific pay.

Then I got sacked from that for lending the keys to the squash courts out.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Thu 29 May 2014, 19:17, 31 replies)

Stop getting sacked, ffs.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 29 May 2014, 20:23, closed)

since when did students pay no tax?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 29 May 2014, 21:33, closed)

since Cash In Hand?
since Tips?
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 29 May 2014, 21:39, closed)

what's that got to do with being a student?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 29 May 2014, 21:45, closed)

I concur, a council owned premises would deduct tax and PAYE and the person if due a refund from
HMRC would receive the refund from HMRC and not from the employer.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 29 May 2014, 21:56, closed)

I think this anecdote happened IN THE PAST.
before all this modern toss and HMRC.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 29 May 2014, 22:13, closed)

what are you prattling on about, you dopey twat?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 29 May 2014, 22:17, closed)

tell you what, I'll stop trying to read his mind.
ask the OP.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 29 May 2014, 22:29, closed)

I did, you soppy prick.
Nobody asked you to chuck in your witless suggestions.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 29 May 2014, 22:33, closed)

Not suggestions, queries.
Question marks at the end.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 29 May 2014, 22:50, closed)

stop digging, thicko

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 30 May 2014, 7:38, closed)

1998
I think was 1998...
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Fri 30 May 2014, 17:47, closed)

and students didn't pay tax in 1998? what are you pricking on about?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 31 May 2014, 7:57, closed)

I didnt THINK I did.
My memory is a bit hazy - probably due to the lack of stock control at the bar I worked ..
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Sat 31 May 2014, 20:12, closed)

Dicko, not thicko.
If you would be so very kind.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 30 May 2014, 21:28, closed)

very late in the day I would add
this is typical burden-of-proof shifting as opposed to answering the original question-except it is with another question. I see how it works now. Debating Society champion stuff.

Along with name calling to elicit a hostile response. I didn't spot it at the time. I hope to amend my slack ways in the future.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 30 May 2014, 0:13, closed)

No he mentions a wage of £250 which is very recent.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 29 May 2014, 22:18, closed)

and the personal allowance is always increasing so the further you go into the UPPER CASE PAST the more tax you'd have had to pay on it

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 29 May 2014, 22:20, closed)

Thank you for your contribution Mr Brittas.
We'll be in touch.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 29 May 2014, 21:36, closed)

If there was 'no stock control' you should have introduced a decent one to implement a proper skim (and bonus from the Boss for maintaining cost control)
and to fire shit staff when the stock-taker found the discrepancies.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 29 May 2014, 21:59, closed)

"Literally limitless"
supply of beer: explain how that works.
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Thu 29 May 2014, 23:15, closed)

Probably functionality limitless.
As in more than they could hope to drink. Either that, or their drinking was at a pace that meant the next delivery would replenish the supply before they ran out.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 29 May 2014, 23:34, closed)

There's a good article in The Economist
that will explain to you in plain terms the hyperbolic usage of literally.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Fri 30 May 2014, 1:50, closed)

By hyperbolic, do you mean incorrect?
The problem with using the word literally in that way, is you're not simply reappropriating a word for another use, you're actually using it to mean the complete opposite of what is intended.

"My mum was so angry, she literally killed me!"

No... she figuratively killed you. 'Killed' here is a figure of speech, and the literal meaning of it is completely incorrect.

Now, I have no doubt that the Economist hand-waves its way to forgiving people for using language idiotically, but that isn't going to stop people who know what the hell they're talking about from being dismissive of those mediocre plebs who use these words incorrectly.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 30 May 2014, 17:03, closed)

for FUCKS sake.
There was so much beer in the stock room, we could not have drunk it all. Hence - LITERALLY limitless.
Although, obviously it WAS limited, as a ratio - it was technically limitless.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Fri 30 May 2014, 17:45, closed)

Just because your stomach capacity was lower than the limit on the quantity of beer present, doesn't mean it didn't have one.
But the point has been made now, so I'll fuck off.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 30 May 2014, 17:56, closed)

I just had another one.
Beer, that is. Fuck it's friday!!!
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Fri 30 May 2014, 17:59, closed)

I think this is the thing where using 'Literally'
is incorrect if you didn't write it down at the time.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 30 May 2014, 21:22, closed)

"Yes, we could drink as much stock as we wanted - but we had to pay for it (full price, too, no staff discount or anything)."
So you're saying that you were allowed to buy things. Bravo.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 30 May 2014, 14:12, closed)

lol, this

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 30 May 2014, 16:29, closed)

Yes.
It was one of the perks of the job being able to buy things.
Wild times, crazy.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Fri 30 May 2014, 17:47, closed)