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This is a question School Assemblies

Our school assemblies were often presided over by the local vicar, who once warned us of the dreadful dangers of mixing with "Rods and Mockers". One of the cool teachers laughed. Tell us about mad headteachers and assemblies gone wrong.

Inspired by the mighty @Rhodri on Twitter

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 12:43)
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ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sun 16 Jun 2013, 23:02, 15 replies)
Is it?
"All the things janet wishes to be by those closest to her."?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 17 Jun 2013, 4:47, closed)
Might
be talking about her vagina.
(username failed moderation, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 9:43, closed)
You cunt!
You actually made me think about janet's vagina.
FFS!
*shudder*
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 17 Jun 2013, 10:50, closed)

I heard that it has dreadlocks, and looks like the Predator yawning.
(I helped save b3ta! Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 11:37, closed)
Predator yawning
When he has a bad head cold
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 11:39, closed)

...well, guess I'll be skipping lunch.
(I helped save b3ta! Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 11:41, closed)
Skipping lunch
in order to wank yourself blind in the toilets?
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 12:21, closed)

it;s a goos jov i can touch-ryoe
(I helped save b3ta! Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 13:13, closed)
sounds like a normal lunch break

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 14:13, closed)
So, it was you who took my shoes!

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 8:52, closed)
You forgot Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder, and Blitzen

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 9:21, closed)
Marmalade,
wheelbarrow.
(username failed moderation, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 9:38, closed)
crucified, nailed, laid, raised
So there.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 10:51, closed)
Swing it, shake it, move it, make it.

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 11:44, closed)
Sinking, draining, drowning, bleeding, dead.

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 14:20, closed)

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