Vegemite.
Circa 1991, I travelled abroad (as many Aussies do) to visit the British Isles and spend my formative years working in a series of shitty underpaid jobs.

I wound up in Edin-berg, renting a single room in a large sandstone house with many similarly rented rooms and a single shared bathroom....every morning begrudingly admiring the freshly birthed massive corn-studded turd that a fellow tenant would leave in the communal shitter.

I also appreciated the upturned milk crate in the shower stall, which kept one's feet out of the semi-permanent pool of grey swill in the base of the shower, thanks to a slow draining plughole, blocked with years of hair, spunk and soap.

By chance, I gained employment in a very posh Deli in Bruntsfield. I was the only non-Scot amongst all the staff. After my first day everyone went out on the piss, and they kindly asked me along, and in the true tradition of the all night "bonding session" I got along famously with everyone although I couldn't understand a fucking word they were saying.

Anyway, I built up a regular clientele of nice customers, daily start time was 6:00, when all the busy doctors and lawyers would come in for croissants and coffee, later in the morning the old biddies would arrive.

I remember counselling one really nice old lady against trying Vegemite...she used to buy one bread roll each morning and would cheerily refer to me as "my funny Australian friend" as she handed over 7p.

I knew she was venturing out on a limb by purchasing Vegemite and she wanted to display some sort of misguided solidarity toward me, and also I guessed that she was used to Marmite, which is a lot sweeter, so I tried to dissuade her from her purchase.

Unless you have a hankering for eating axle grease, don't try Vegemite. Australians are immune to it, no other races can abide it.

Anyway, she returned the next day, gave me a sour look and never spoke to me again.

So, her illusions of tasting a small slice of sun bleached, wide open plains, carefree Australia were shattered by the fact that Vegemite is pretty much unpalatable to anyone who isn't indoctrinated from birth on the stuff, and she somehow blamed me.





Whatever, you old prune cunt bitch. Fucking get over it.
( Ken Oath, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:55, 14 replies)

Peckhams?
Closed down a few weeks back. Turning into a Sainbury's Local. Sod it.
(ubergeekian, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:13, closed)

No...it was named after the owner...
..called something like Naharita's. Lots of sacks of really nice coffee beans, fresh breads and pastries. I checked it out on Google's street view to see if it still existed - opposite an Oddbins grog shop. It now looks like a coffe shop or a restaurant. At the time it was very cutting edge, as the only other "posh" shop around was a bog standard bakery.
( Ken Oath, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:30, closed)

I think it's now Falko Konditormeister
Tis right at the top of my street.
(jennymnemonic, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:45, closed)

Sounds like it got turned into the peckhams
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Sat 12 May 2012, 14:50, closed)

Peckhams used to be Nastiuks

(ubergeekian, Sun 13 May 2012, 9:31, closed)

That's the place! Nastiuk's...
...they fired me for making a mistake on a Visa Card transaction - I forgot to enter a transaction amount, so the customer scored a free loaf of bread and the end result was that the till wouldn't balance at the end of the day by 80p. Never short-change your Scottish employer, they'll get rid of you quick smart.
( Ken Oath, Sun 13 May 2012, 11:39, closed)

Has it?
Shit. Got to buy the Absinthe on the royal mile now.
( MatJ LOOK, Sat 12 May 2012, 17:58, closed)

The other one's still open
On Nicholson Street, or whatever the hell it's called there. Near the Queen's Hall
(ubergeekian, Sun 13 May 2012, 9:31, closed)

on the corner of nicolson st and lutton place. I live round the corner and frequently reappear to the flat with £20 worth of cheese, cold meet and olives, having nipped out to get milk. My girlfriend dispairs
(Clashrock is being stalked by his brother on, Mon 14 May 2012, 11:04, closed)

Vegemite's not all that

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:30, closed)

Marmite is to Vegemite
as butter is to margarine.

One is an altogether inferior imitation of the other.

They both taste like licking a tramp's perineum, though Marmite is made from an altogether nicer class of wino.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:21, closed)

Can't really argue with that

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:39, closed)

Vegemite ad from the 60s(?)
"Too Much Spoils The Flavour".
(Redemption blamed it on the Bossa Nova since, Sat 12 May 2012, 4:02, closed)

Om my honeymoon (11 years ago), my US wife and I were up in Cairns, at a backpacker hostel prior to boarding the ship for a 4 day cruise on the reef. At breakfast, she found a little packet of vegemite, and decided that she should try it - after all, she had already had a good sampling of some other Australian products (fnarrrr!), and I didn't have time to warn her that it wasn't to be treated like peanut butter - just spread a tiny, thin hint of it on the toast.

She took a bit into a thick slab of vegemite - I don't think she has forgiven me still.
(Maclir, Fri 11 May 2012, 18:21, closed)

On a visit to Oz where I now live, my sister asked about the difference between Vegimite and Marmite.

She's both gullable and also was slightly jet-lagged - like my brother-in-law who kept remarking how the sun was in the wrong direction (North rather than South).

"Well", I said, "You know that Marmite is lovingly produced by brewers with the yeast left over from making beer."

"Yes of course", she replied

"Vegimite", I continued helpfully "Is scraped from the inside of the Sydney sewers".

"Is it really" She said
(Pewit does things down under, Fri 11 May 2012, 18:52, closed)

Vegemite...
...foul stuff. A friend is a tour coach driver and he delights in telling Japanese tourists that vegemite is made by grinding up the noses of dead koalas.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Sat 12 May 2012, 2:31, closed)

love it!
I'm going to educate my kids as to the true origins of Vegemite
( Ken Oath, Sat 12 May 2012, 2:42, closed)

I love Vegemite
king of spreadable savoury toast toppings. Fuck Marmite.
( uncle bastard is twanging a dan moi, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:06, closed)

vegemite and butter on fresh white bread
Can't beat it.
( Ken Oath, Sat 12 May 2012, 2:36, closed)

I've tried Marmite, Vegemite, NZ Marmite and Promite.
Each respective race claims their own as king, all are fairly similar.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 12 May 2012, 4:13, closed)

I'm Australian and it's taken me 20 years to like it.
Total convert now.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 12 May 2012, 12:43, closed)