Shops and SupermarketsI used to work in a supermarket where the girl on the deli counter cut off the top of her finger in the meat slicer, but was made to finish her shift before going to hospital. You can now pay £100 to shoot zombies in the store's empty shell, haunted by poor dead nine-finger deli girl. Tell us your tales of the old retail experience, from either side of the counter
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 10 May 2012, 13:50)
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pearostB&Q
be aware, I recently went to a b&q store in mersey side and was approached by a member of their staff and asked if I wanted decking? well, I got the first punch in, but I feel the lesser vigilant person might not be so sharp.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:41, 19 replies)
I was in a tailor's shop, buying trousers and he asked me if I wanted a belt...so I smacked him first just to be on the safe side, etc etc
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emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 15 May 2012, 15:58,
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I went for a job and they told me to fill in the questionaireso I beat up the doorman.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:12, closed)
I went for an office job and the manager asked how much experience I hadso I raped him, etc etc.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:16,
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I asked the shopkeeper if they had anything for a headacheSo he dropped a brick on me
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:18, closed)
I went to the chemist and asked if she could recommend anything for a hangover.She said "Get really pissed the night before"
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:23, closed)
I went with my misses to buy some flags for a Jubilee street partyAnd the guy in the shop asked her if she wanted bunting, so I killed him.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:48, closed)
My Mum asked me to shoot down the high street for her.So I did. We're only 5 minutes from Hungerford town centre anyway.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:52, closed)
I went to a music shop recentlyand asked to buy an electronic keyboard.
"analog?" the man asked, "no just the keyboard will be fine", I replied.
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browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:31,
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Well, I did the same thing, and he asked me if I was interested in looking at a large organ.
So I stabbed him.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:36, closed)
I went to a fishing shop and asked the shopkeeper to show me his tackle......he duly obliged by pulling down his pants and showing me his willy and balls.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 20:32, closed)
I had my eye exam today.The optician said, "You don't need glasses - but you do need a PUNCH."
Thus began a three-hour fist fight in the streets of Dewsbury.
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The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 15 May 2012, 20:59,
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I was in Dewsbury yestrday, and that sounds about right.(
Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 16 May 2012, 6:04,
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My girlfriend asked me for an example of a double entendreso I gave her one.
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Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Tue 15 May 2012, 21:18,
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I went to ToysRus and brought a teddy bearThe cashier asked if i wanted it wrapping?
No talking quietly will do.
(, Tue 15 May 2012, 21:49, closed)
I was in boots, and asked for a deoderant.'Aerosol or ball?' said the girl.
'No, for my armpits' I replied.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 9:14, closed)
I went to the chemists and asked for some steroids.
'Anabolic?', the guy said.
'No', I said 'Just the steroids please'.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:41, closed)
Best.Thread.Ever.(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:53, closed)
AmenI feel like I'm at a Tim Vine gig...
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:30, closed)
I went to a travel agentsand said 'I want to go on a cruise. Is there any way to get any special discounts?'.
She says 'Well, staff discounts maybe. Do you work for Cunard?'
I said 'Well, I mess about on the Internet a bit, but I try to do a solid 8 hours a day'.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:53, closed)
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