Good news or bad??
A pregnant woman is rushed into hospital one day to give birth. At the point of pushing, she passes out.
Later on that day, she wakes up and the doctor is stood there ready to give her the news.
"I have some good news and bad news for you madam." said the doctor.
"Can I have the bad news then." said the woman.
"The bad news is, your child is ginger." said the doctor.
"Well whats the good news??" said the mother.
"It's dead!!" said the doctor
(Lardboy Man, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 19:20, Reply)

What's the difference between your mum and Lennox Lewis
Nothing. They've both been stuffed in the ring by a sweaty black criminal.
(Banster Daddy or Uncle? Daddy or Uncle? Hmm. Both please!, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 18:10, Reply)

What's the difference between your mum and a boxing glove?
You can only get one fist inside a boxing glove
(Banster Daddy or Uncle? Daddy or Uncle? Hmm. Both please!, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 18:09, Reply)

One for the Ausies
In Foster Beer Man's Voice:

"How to Speak San Fransiscan:"

**Bends Over, Spreads butt cheeks with hands** : "vagina"


I'm worse than hitler, now Ill make an exit twoards the door...quit stalin...im gone
(The Horizontal Monster Mash Mr. T Pitties Me, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 18:08, Reply)

Last few racy ones..
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last black man that had a dream got shot (dr. king...get it)

Why do Jews have big noses?
Because air is free

What's the diffrence between a conoe and a Jew?
Jews don't tip.

Why do blondes hate stearing wheels?
they limit headroom
(The Horizontal Monster Mash Mr. T Pitties Me, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 18:04, Reply)

I am a horrble person
What do you say when you see your T.V. floating in the middle of the night?

"Drop it niger"
(The Horizontal Monster Mash Mr. T Pitties Me, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 17:58, Reply)

Why did the little boy fall out of the tree?
He was dead..
( Butters and his titanium codsocket, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 17:52, Reply)

Why did the little boy fall out of the tree?
He was tied to the other two.
( Butters and his titanium codsocket, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 17:51, Reply)

Why did the old man fall over?
He was hit by falling children.
( Butters and his titanium codsocket, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 17:51, Reply)

Sick again

Whats worse than 10 babies in a bin?
One baby in ten bins.
(orderoftheflame, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 17:45, Reply)

Sick jokes
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
(orderoftheflame, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 17:44, Reply)

Heard this one today
Whats grey and sits in the corner quietly taking the piss?


A dialysis machine
( Strawberry Dragon, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 17:28, Reply)

Heard which song was voted the worst ever cover version of all time recently?
Ian Huntley's "Splish Splash"...
(David Fishwick Minibus Sales - notmad.co.uk, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 17:00, Reply)

What's the difference between a baby and a fridge?
A fridge doesn't squeal when you put your meat in it.
(2P4E nil admirari, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 16:59, Reply)

But, there's more...
How do you know when your sister's having her period?

Your dad's cock tastes of blood.
(DoctorDeath, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 15:55, Reply)

Less sick, just to even the balance
What's got 100 balls and fucks rabbits?

A shotgun.
(DoctorDeath, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 15:46, Reply)

This is the sickest I know
What's black and blue and sits crying in the corner?

A rape victim.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
(DoctorDeath, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 15:44, Reply)

There was a blackout in my street last night
The police were called but they didn't catch him

similar to the one below, but better wording
( Mr Gimpson Wolfguts, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 15:22, Reply)

Probably already here, but here goes
What breaks when you give it to a baby?


It's Pelvis.


Sorry.
(squireyboy, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 14:30, Reply)

I like my women how I like my coffee
Ground up and in the fridge
(arawn, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 14:02, Reply)

What do you call an upside-down blonde?





a brunette with bad breath.
(Arnolfini wasn't feeling very funny on, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 13:58, Reply)

Obscure one liner.
A back guy's walking down Kensington High Street. But don't worry, We arrested him before he did anything.
( Marn, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 13:52, Reply)

One for my American friends...
What do you call 5 Mexicans, a Chinaman, and 3 African-Americans?


A garden sprinkler.



*Spick-spick-spick-spick-spick-chink-nigger-nigger-nigger*

Say it out loud.
(Mr_Jums, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 13:24, Reply)

Sick and just wrong
Tony Blair as Prime Minister

George Dubya Bush as President


(First post - and just wrong!!)
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 10:32, Reply)

an old one
What did the leper say to the hooker?

Keep the tip.
...
( madrabbit is fully prepared, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 6:54, Reply)

what's small brown and warm and found in the back of little boys underwear?
michael jackson's hand
( sarah sarah sarah, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 0:36, Reply)