More rules for women and men on how not to write profiles
1) Don't get upset at being treated as a pair of tits/a cock on legs if all your profile shows is a picture. No, people can't see your wonderful personality just by looking at you, all they can see is your face and your tits/bulge/whatever
1a) This also means no whinging about responses having to be 'original' if you have no interests listed

2) Going out with your friends and to the cinema do not count as interests, unless you're much more specific and enthusiastic about being into 30s pre war B&W films, for instance

3) You don't actually want walks on the beach - if you want sex say so, instead of asking for 'cosy nights in with a DVD'.FFS..
3a) Men want sex. Women want sex. It doesn't need stating, even suggestively, that you both want it.
3b) Also realise that if it sounds like sex will be months away or dependent on marriage, most people will give you a wide berth.

4) Guys : cock pictures - just don't. Women - don't overdo the tit shots.

5) Ladies : grow a fucking spine and make decisions, instead of getting a bloke to suggest something and then disagreeing.

6) 'knows how to treat a lady' = I am money grabbing. Welcome to equality and 50/50 bill paying.

7) If you wear a wedding dress/suit or are with children that aren't your own, people will draw the obvious (usually true) conclusion..

8) If you're in a picture with multiple people, you will automatically be the ugliest person.

9) I'm sure some men will stop being shallow about women's weight and tits, as soon as some women stop asking to be fucked by a broad shouldered over 6 foot bloke with a big cock. In the meantime, that's why people like body shots.
9a) It would also help if women didn't put down each other's weight/chest size, and men didn't put down small blokes.
10) Relationships are the same. It doesn't matter whether you're a man, woman or anything in between. Gay, straight, bi or asexual. The same mistakes and arguments happen everywhere.
10a) all your mistakes happen because 1) you don't listen and 2) you don't want to accept and adjust to what you're being told..

and remember - real life is just as weird as online, but it's far quicker to sift through people online.. Bitter? Not too much, but please send me someone nice and available with a brain.
(EssY, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:13, 12 replies)

If I could beat number 5 into my wife's face with a hammer....
....and get away with it I would :D

*clicks hard*
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:20, closed)

Oh god this^^
I must say, I've shown remarkable patience in the 9 months so far but... ARGH!
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:39, closed)

yes
I always get, "I always make the decisions" from her

if I say I don't mind, it's because I have no preference. this should be licence to suggest what you want, and I will go along with it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:57, closed)

Saves me
posting my list on blurbs...

Although mine is longer.

Lolz
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:23, closed)

i've never understood why men put down small blokes
my bloke's 5'5, which is pretty short for a dutchman, but his dutch mates rarely take the piss. whenever he's in england, though, his english friends are merciless :D

short blokes have nice thighs, in general.
( gypsy turnips, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:23, closed)

one of the guys in the office
homepage.ntlworld.com/jeccysden/blog/short.jpg
Only reason I made it was because I didn't have any photos of anyone else on the team. For a while :p
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:29, closed)

heehee
he looks angry at the world :D
( gypsy turnips, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:36, closed)

I'm 1m70, whatever that is in feet.
That thing about continentals not taking the piss isn't quite true, but certainly usually not as nasty as i experienced it in English schools.
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:40, closed)

What is "the obvious (usually true) conclusion"?

( Roxy_Hart is so so old, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 19:00, closed)

In retrospect, maybe there are multiple interpretations
However I'm going for 'desperate for marriage or kids'.
(EssY, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 20:49, closed)

Ain't that for true
Nice list. So true. *Sighs*
(Mongoose1770 is a bag of balls, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 23:05, closed)

" If you're in a picture with multiple people, you will automatically be the ugliest person."
That is the story of my life.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Tue 16 Sep 2008, 4:25, closed)