
Mictoboy asks: Everybody knows that stag and hen parties are a veritable gateway to Hell, and quite the worst thing to happen to anybody full stop. So, tell us what happened.
( , Thu 30 Jan 2014, 16:00)
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15 old school mates. 10 beds in the house. 3 day stag. We all agreed that the first ones there claimed the first beds. Can't take a 3 dayer then you sleep on the floor.
1st night Cue the usual revelry, drinking, swimming in the sea (not a good idea in Nov at 2am) casino, stripping the works. Lots of banter, taking the piss etc.
2nd night. Cue the early start, more boozing, revelry, pisstaking. But this time a bit more close to the bone personal. We're all tired not thinking straight. More guys arrive
3rd night. Cue no sleep, tempers flaring, still fun but it's all getting a bit out of hand. Back to the house. 3 am. 1st 'fight' over who burned the carpet. Next a fight over who drank more. 3rd fight over sport.I'm thinking everyones been spiked. All between different guys so I go to bed thinking "right, this lot can fuck off its getting out of hand"
I get to my room and a latecomer is asleep in MY bed. Having pushed all my shit on to the floor.
I wake him up, an argument ensues, A massive verbal and a few scuffles. The rest of the stag come to watch. Like some crazed film the stag party is split between whose side to take. EeVRYONE starts getting angry. A LOT of personal shit gets dragged up. and I mean a LOT. I finally snap when he makes a comment about my step son not being my kid!
Everyone sucks their teeth. the line has been crossed. So I say the best ever come back line. Said across a silent landing with 13 on lookers
Ok. So tell me. How does it feel to know that every single guy in this house has fingered your girlfriend at least once? I know he used four fingers and I point to the groom.
The fingering was of course was when we were 13 and we're all at least 33 on the stag. Childish yes. Cutting yes.
The guy goes fucking mental and shoves me through a bannister and I fall a full story down stairs. Unbelievably I'm ok. It all kicks off upstairs the only guys to see if I'm ok is the groom who told me straight faced "It was just 3 fingers"
Anyway, next morning house is trashed and I mean it. Staircase has no bannister. Carpet is peppered with hot rocks and fag burns.
Knowing it was going to get messy we agreed that we would factor in the loss of our 'damages' deposit. But the bill came in at £5000. Ouch.
He no longer is going out with said girl
( , Fri 31 Jan 2014, 17:16, 17 replies)

that must have been one hell of a coincidence
( , Fri 31 Jan 2014, 17:26, closed)

I say nephew, I might mean son. With that family tree I'm always getting confused.
( , Fri 31 Jan 2014, 19:25, closed)

( , Fri 31 Jan 2014, 22:26, closed)

( , Fri 31 Jan 2014, 17:44, closed)

- Oscar Wilde
( , Fri 31 Jan 2014, 18:13, closed)

it looks a bit like a fanny.
( , Fri 31 Jan 2014, 19:53, closed)

Drive home in your big convertible Accord Limo while being sucked off by each other's amazingly hot girlfriends. And doing lines of the finest Colombian of their double D natural tits? Just asking...
( , Fri 31 Jan 2014, 20:29, closed)

That's just being polite. Good God Sir, even a bowling ball only requires 3 fingers.
( , Sat 1 Feb 2014, 12:07, closed)

Did a parallel universe version of you lose a lung from fucking a postbox one time?
Also you are a massive fucking liar and a complete lightweight if even a word of this is vaguely true.
( , Sat 1 Feb 2014, 23:37, closed)
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