"e could get sausaged!"
Mate I work with came in looking rough, explained was on brother-in law`s stag day the day before. Got a blow by blow up to the point poor sod had done the shots and passed out.

They`d stripped him naked and cable tied him to a lamppost with "please help, i`m getting married" label and gone on for more beer.

Someone had a pang of conscience and said "lads, lads, listen up we`ve gotta go back, I`ve just fought, thass near Soho, `e could get,,, sausaged!". They went back and got him.

The last part of that quote still brings a smile.
(tootired Is searching for a funny sig, nothing good so far, Sat 1 Feb 2014, 0:37, 15 replies)

yes, queers are all rapists - fact.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sat 1 Feb 2014, 8:54, closed)

Finally, this is confirmed by someone with an 'inside view'.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 1 Feb 2014, 15:29, closed)

It's an interesting social phenomenon
that men who are convinced they're irresistible to homosexuals - to the extent that they'll be sexually assaulted on sight - are inevitably physically repulsive.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 1 Feb 2014, 15:37, closed)

Oh dear poorly phrased and pounced on
No agenda, it was his phrasing and the sudden assumptions in the face of doing something and walking away that made it both funny and shocking.

On a serious note you do not set someone up in a situation and not be there to handle the consequences if it goes wrong, unless you are a nothing to "friends".
Edit(2): So far some of this unkindness is there on the thread, but it will get worse.
If you are really nasty as a best man, get the bride to be onside and on plot (on my last of 3 so far). The knickers ( hers) at his mates as a wind up, were not needed
" you won those in the drinking contest with that old slapper". WHAT!!!

It all went wrong on another one the hen night got chucked out for erm... being too loud (or something else) (in Essex?) and we converged on the same nightclub.
Needless to say everyone was very mainly kind and gentle to each other in the fog next day called a wedding ceremony.
(tootired Is searching for a funny sig, nothing good so far, Sun 2 Feb 2014, 5:09, closed)

What's your first language?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 2 Feb 2014, 9:23, closed)

My money's on "Australian".

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 2 Feb 2014, 9:36, closed)

It's certainly not fucking English.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 2 Feb 2014, 9:44, closed)

I'll wager it's New Zealandish
( Ken Oath, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 11:47, closed)

Hahahayeah. Like that's even a real place.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 4 Feb 2014, 10:20, closed)

Alright Rick Fathelme.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 4 Feb 2014, 18:17, closed)

My father warned me about the likes of you.
Apparently, he used to worry that I'd end up being anally violated by a roving pack of queers, after being stripped and tied to a lamppost.
I think this says more about his nights on the town, than mine.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 10:20, closed)

Perhaps he went to a boarding school

(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 16:53, closed)

I think there's a lot of people here - deliberately or not - missing the point of this.
I liked it.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 12:41, closed)

I assumed that "to be sausaged"...
...meant being manufactured into sausages by dodgy ethnics...
...rather than man-u-fucktured with man sausages by dodgy hommers...
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Mon 3 Feb 2014, 19:29, closed)

The crafty wording of this reply tickles me more than any man-sausage ever could.

( .Yeti., Tue 4 Feb 2014, 12:01, closed)