Insane ideas
My brains is not wired as a normal person's is. Other people come to bad, mad or outright wrong ideas through experimentation or expediency.
I come up with them out of nowhere, for no reason.
Witness:
A: Polish menial workers' fight club. The only weapons allowed are ones found on the job.
B: The toilet that congratulates you on weight of refuse produced and keeps a leaderboard, identifying contestants by arse-print.
C: Beermats with Shuriken inside, for when enough is enough.
D: A cult based around Cliff Richard (The smiling one, the never-dying master. I'a, I'a Cliff Richard P'Tagen.)
E: A movie about a screenwriter whose existential epic is bought by a porn studio. A meditative study of the creative process and the concessions one has to make for one's art, with lots of tits.
F: A mobile phone virus that eliminates your phone's ability to play loud hip-hop on the bus through the speaker. If the Black Eyed Peas are detected on the device, it self destructs.
G: Car-to-caravan missiles. Mounted on roller skates, these delightful weapons of mass destruction roll under the caravan and explode, simulteneously killing all occupants and blowing it up and away from the road.
H: Slow-release booze filled gel caplets, so you can pop one at work and be nicely merry by the time you get on the bus.
I: Piano-wire-lined neck tie, for workplace garottings.

I could do one of these for every letter of the alphabet, if I wanted to.

*EDIT* Browser Challenged me to actually do it. So here we are!*Edit*

A is for automated ant-boiling robot, Roomba-based nightmare of all crawling things
B is for beermats with internal shuriken, for when you’ve hit on the girl of the ape with the bling.
C is a caravan-seeking warhead, putting road-blocking pillocks six feet in the ground,
D is for dog-whistle producing lipstick, and my big pack of trained, ladies-skirt-seeking hounds.
E for electroshock collars for tourists, primed to go off when they tread on my toes,
F is for fuck it, I’ll think of one later. What will it be? Don’t ask me, I don’t know.
G is for goldfish (The robot variety) No need to feed! Inbuilt pervert-cam lens!
H is for Horses (Best of all the animals.) I love horses, they’re my friends.
I is for igloo, made out of ice-cream: snug cozy home, well-stocked larder to boot.
J is for jarring blank-verse stanza plonked in the middle of a different verse-form for arty-farty effect.
K is the faithful King-cobra bazooka, lending new to terror to death from above.
L is for living shit, which will be the product of the king-cobra bazooka, (and the victims thereof).
M is for madman, as some FOOLS have called me! But I will show them! Oh yes, I’ll SHOW THEM ALL!
N is for Nemesis, I’ve still yet to gain one, must be cunning and suave, with a deep, throaty drawl.
O is for Orgy (of senseless destruction), the correct application of the kit on this list.
P is for Party, (When my ideas make me wealthy) It’s also for Pratfall, Blood Poisoning and Pissed
Q is for Quantum defabriculator. And what does it do? You can’t know till you’ve measured.
R is for Ricin, the noblest of gasses, all-purpose poison for business or pleasure.
S is for Syzygy, an alignment of planets, which heralds the coming of the Smiling One: Cliff.
T is for Toilet that awards points by turd-weight, bonuses awarded for texture and whiff.
U is for ultrafast-acting booze caplets, which lend a new pleasure to the train-journey home.
V is for virus, sim-card shredding e-lurgy, burning kids who play Black-Eyed Peas on their cellphones
X is for X-ray specs (they don’t let you see through things, but the people you give them to’s eyes will fall out).
Y is for Yeti, the well-trained snow-devil, protector of my barbed-wired mountain-top redoubt.
Z is for is for Zone, (Of the dangerous kind), in which you will tread if you dare thwart my wiles.
And that is my list. I didn’t start it for evil, but the thing about evil is: evil beguiles.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Fri 19 Nov 2010, 12:42, 8 replies)

!
go on then.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 12:45, closed)

Working on it.
May take som time as in it's in gashlycrumb tinies style verse.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:39, closed)

DONE!
You fool! You foolish fool!
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:33, closed)

People would pay good money
for the mobile phone virus and the booze caplets.

Myself included.
( .Yeti., Fri 19 Nov 2010, 12:46, closed)

Insane?
These all sound perfectly reasonable to me. Sign me up for the toilet and caravan killers
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 12:50, closed)

I especially like B
( Ramsay Tupper, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 12:52, closed)

B, F and I are the ideas I like best.
Personally, I've always wanted my own private army, composed entirely of genetically engineered killer bunnies. No recruiting problems, and all training would be passed on through genetic memory. That, and food wouldn't be an issue considering they would only need to live off grass.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:23, closed)

A mobile phone virus that eliminates your phone's ability to play loud hip-hop on the bus through the speaker.
YES!
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 13:34, closed)

Music is like candy
It's much better once you get rid of all the rappers
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 14:04, closed)

I want a..
Beer mat shuriken.
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 15:16, closed)

I love
the idea of an Arse-Print Identification Sewage Processing Unit...
(Daw the Cunt Deffiency in keeping Wind since 1970, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 18:01, closed)