i think my only real talent
is making perfume smell nice. whichever perfume i wear, people stop me to ask me what it is, and then say accusingly, "oh it doesn't smell like that on me."

it's a very lame super-power, but it's all i've got. well, that and the ability to deep-throat without gagging, but going on about that and how much i love blow-jobs would just be attention-seeking, and i am totally not an attention-seeker of any sort in any way, no sir, i just hate that attention, i surely do.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 0:17, 18 replies)

PANDER ALARM
*VOOP VOOP VOOP*
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 0:37, closed)

nah
nobody bothers to pander to me anymore, i am seriously old news. and i can't poledance.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 0:43, closed)

news poledancefind my dentures
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 15:17, closed)

hahahaha
no, wait. fuck off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 20:59, closed)

beat me to it

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:20, closed)

Pander you say?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:35, closed)

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Mon 22 Nov 2010, 1:32, closed)

my cock smells of vanilla when you're near.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 2:34, closed)

I read that
as Manilla at first
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:19, closed)

try wearing
wearing something that isn't a perfume like Febreze
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:22, closed)

Or Mr Muscle

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:02, closed)

Shirley WD-40
though Boots do tend to market that as 'Pour Homme'
(Frottage cheese, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 13:21, closed)

Or jizz
It seems that you have the means
(Dwarfsmuggler Has hogtied Snow White, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 17:12, closed)

call me...
...please.
(FUXTIX Not my words, Carol, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 12:38, closed)

i suspect you might be taking the piss
why, you haven't given me your number or ANYTHING.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 13:34, closed)

yeah sorry about that
the wife wouldnt be happy - shame, could do with some girl not gagging on my cock for a change.
(FUXTIX Not my words, Carol, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 14:32, closed)

Harsh, very very harsh...
I remember when you were such a tease.

Now you're just taunting us.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 16:44, closed)

Whoa there!
That was slipped in rather early, on a school night too...

I obviously intended my user name would fit the bill for this one!
(Suck it and Sea, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 18:01, closed)