That'd be me
When I move from job to job I have a little mental checklist that I complete when I start.

- Where are the loos?
- Who are the ones I can safely ask stupid questions to?
- Can I get away with arsing around on the internet for at least 60% of my working day?
- What is there in the workplace that I can take that will improve my quality of life?

For example, when I worked in the petrol station, rather than pay for lunch, I would pick something off the shelf, "damage" it and eat it.

When working at the hotel I was also living in abject poverty with my then girlfriend, so by taking boxes of sachets of coffee, tea, milk, sugar, teaspoons and mugs, we saved a fortune on our weekly shop. This also applied to towels, loo roll, polish, air freshener, even toilet cleaner. Many a happy hour was spent in lectures with a bag chock full of mini pots of milk and toilet duck.

Working at the library was also a treat. I sell a lot of stuff on ebay, and thanks to a wealth of envelopes, bubble wrap, sticky tape and a very malliable postage system, I could post all my goodies for free, increasing my profits.

...yes, I'm aware this makes me more of a thieving pikey shit than a tightwad, but tightwad sounds marginally better so I'm going with that.
(GONEism, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:12, 7 replies)

'Stealing from work'
is a subject I've suggested for QOTW. I too stole toilet rolls.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:36, closed)

Top idea
Although a little bit iffy....

Friday's haul over here was 100 blank CDs and 50 DVDs, a PCI WiFi card, brand new keyboard and mouse I found in the cupboard, and a DVD burner.

Having the authority to actually order the things before stealing is a good thing. Not sure if this makes it more of a crime though, does it become fraud instead of theft?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:48, closed)

It could always be
"things I stole from the workplace before my current one"

So far (err... I mean "in total at my previous employer") the haul includes:

A few parts that became part of a halloween costume, and have taken home without any paperwork (not exactly stealing, but Security still treat it as such...) a over a grands' worth of UPS (+ extra "out of date" batteries) and DAQ / digital IO equipment. So my PC can now sit downloading all day running on batteries that are charged from inexpensive nighttime electricity, and I can turn on my kettle from my living room- or even from work!

Oh, and a (sadly, non-functional) model of an ROV. Plus assorted stationary, batteries, etc.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:21, closed)

The best I can manage...
...is taking home some transparent plastic folders I found in a former colleague's desk drawers after he'd left, instead of returning them to the stationery cupboard they'd originally come from years before. How many years would I get for that?
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:58, closed)

You'd get
DEATH!
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:05, closed)

I'd prefer cake.

( flake has nothing against your right leg, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 19:50, closed)

let's be honest
all these places order many times more than they need at one go, how are they gonna notice that a tiny percentage of it is missing?

(maybe the keyboard/mouse, dvd burner though)
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:05, closed)