my friend was looting in argos in manchester and helped him self to 500 catalogues any one want one?

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 18:32, Reply)

seriously piss of deaf lip readers by only talking in morse code

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 17:37, Reply)

Mix things up a bit
By not having a question this week.
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Thu 18 Aug 2011, 16:34, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Annoy people who say 0 as "oh" when they give you a 'phone number
by saying that you can't say 0 as "oh", as "oh" is a letter...
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 18 Aug 2011, 15:55, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

live in a coastal area threatend by tidal waves ?
then take the advice of iron maiden and run to the hills
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 14:21, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

phone the missing persons section of you local police force and ask if they have been looking for linda ?

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 14:19, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

why not ask that tall western gentlman in tokyo if he is big in japan?

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Infuriate Moby
by harpooning him.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 13:26, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Annoy Jeff Lynne
by asking him what Horace Wimp got up to on the Saturday
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Get your photo in the paper on August 19th
by being an attractive female student who has just passed her A-Levels...
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 18 Aug 2011, 9:44, 7 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Infuriate Moby
Dick by harpooning him in the face before adding "and Captain Ahab says Hi"
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Enthrall bread-worshippers everywhere by showing them the divine miracle
of an image of Jesus Christ with the likeness of a piece of burnt toast on his face.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 18 Aug 2011, 8:36, Reply)

Infuriate Moby
By asking him why your heart hurts so bad.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 2:35, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

No actually
just infuriate Moby
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 2:34, Reply)

Infuriate Ray Davies from The Kinks
by asking him if he remembers Walter...
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 18 Aug 2011, 0:11, Reply)

Beautiful ladies! Avoid feeling lonely at night, trapped in a loveless, unfulfilling relationship with men that are clearly sleeping with other women
by sleeping with me.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 13:55, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Young men.
Tired of being condemned for destroying cities?

Simply join the army and destroy cities in the Middle East instead. This will somehow change you from a mindless thug into a hero.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 11:52, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Become a king or queen, so that if anyone tries to push past you and says "Excuse me"
You can then deliberate for some time before deciding whether or not you want to do so.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Become a childminder
so if you are ever faced with someone who brusquely says to you "do you mind?", you can reply, "yes, yes I do"...
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Wed 17 Aug 2011, 10:55, Reply)

if you are on a crowded bus or train
possibly with headphones on, dont imagine how Sean Connery would pronounce 'Chase and Status' as you will say it out loud, will laugh at yourself, and will look like a mental.
And no-one wants to be THAT mental on the bus or train.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 1:57, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

chinese kids are you bored during the holidays?
why not fall down wells or get stuck between brick walls for a laugh and for the more hard core adventurous why not try getting stuck in a washing machine?
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:34, Reply)

Warren Buffett....
...if you fancy paying more tax, I've got some you could pay...
(Don Draper is, indeed, mad and a man., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 22:00, Reply)

British People
make fun of German people by continually referring to events that occurred 45, 66 and 93 years ago respectively...
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Tue 16 Aug 2011, 18:41, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Dictators in the Middle East! Avoid charges of genocide by simply claiming you were having
an Arab Spring clean.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:20, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

alien abductees
Don't complain about the anal probe. You don't want them sticking it in any other orifices instead, do you?
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:06, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Businesses: collaborate to make receipts all the same size and shape.
FFS.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Next time you're filtered through an automatic 'phone service, press 0 to get through to a real person, and then present them with four options:
1. I can tell you what I think the issue might relate to.
2. I can tell you the symptoms of the issue.
3. I can get someone else to tell you the issue.
4. I can tell you the issue.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 17:43, Reply)

Vicars! Make the village think it's Easter by calling "Happy Easter!" to everyone as you cycle past them.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 16:14, 7 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Have a job interview first thing in the morning?
Get up half an hour early so you have time to eat some breakfast in order to prevent your stomach rumbling very loudly during the interview.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 15:56, Reply)

Mothers of boy or girls
don't know if they're David Bowie fans?

Simply check their birth certificate.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Mon 15 Aug 2011, 15:37, Reply)