Ask people on Facebook to follow you on Twitter.
Twat that you've updated your Facebook status, and then text all your friends to let them know you've done so. Take out a fucking radio ad campaign at the same time, directing people to your page, and make sure the update is something along the lines of what you had for lunch, or what your ugly, idiot child just did.

Extra marks for using a photo of said child as your fucking avatar.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 15:50, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

My child just did a poo.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 22:47, Reply)

My inner child just did a poo

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Sat 2 Jul 2011, 17:42, Reply)

my poo just had a child

(Clit Ninja is having a white space party!, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 16:24, Reply)