A budget tip for Mr Darling
I received this in an email earlier, I don't know if it's been posted elsewhere on B3ta, but it's not in here.

~~~~~~~
Dear Mr. Darling,

Please find below my suggestion for fixing Britain's economy. Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:


There are about 15 million people over 50 in the work force. - Pay them £1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Fifteen million job openings - Unemployment fixed.

2) They MUST buy a new British CAR. Fifteen million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

4) They must send their kids to school / college /university - Crime rate fixed

5) Buy £50 of alcohol / tobacco a week there's your money back in duty / tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
~~~~~~~~~
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sat 23 May 2009, 18:44, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Where exactly are you going to find
fifteen trillion pounds?

Not from expenses repayments, that's for sure.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 May 2009, 16:41, Reply)

Oh you're so clever!
This will definately save the world!!1!1!eleven!!!1!

So if they have a house, the mortgage for which they've spent most of their life paying off, they have to buy another?

And they don't drive.

And if they send their child to school/college/university then they will definately never commit a crime.

Good idea.

You = win.
(TheColonel, Mon 25 May 2009, 2:42, Reply)

I bet beer prices would go up though...
(Same reason London is so pricey - massive city bonuses increase local inflation)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 25 May 2009, 13:29, Reply)

yup what he said
£15,000,000,000,000?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

what on earth are you talking about?

Right im going out on a limb here -

Allistair darling with a solid background in business and economics, extremely well educated, with a backroom staff of equally educated people.

But no, your right - your idea is much better; why on earth didnt he think of that before?
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:30, Reply)

It appears
That the subtlety has been missed.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:45, Reply)