Feeling unloved or generally down?
Have a wank.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 17:07, 7 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

do you
Have any idea how much wanking that is?

A LOT
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Why, thank you.
Is this a service you provide for all B3TA members? (pun intended)
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 13:44, Reply)

In the Gumtree mailing list thing a few years ago
I saw a notice from a plumber offering "plumbing work in return for hand job"

I imagine a handjob, even from a classy escort is going to be cheaper than a plumber. So I was thinking of setting up an agency. Someone needs a plumber, they pay me for the work and then I hire the services of a discreet masseuse. Install her in the house as the resident. Handjob plumber turns up, does the work, gets tugged off and then leaves satisfied.

I should even be able to get a government grant for creating 3 jobs; well 4 technically.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 18:58, Reply)

Brilliant Idea
Have a click - and if you hear of someone getting caught doing this on the news, it's not me. Honest.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:27, Reply)

if you have had
a severe injury to both arms or were born that way you would generally feel down about your life and condition.
Hearing that you could lighten up your mood simply and quickly by having a shufty with mrs Palm and her five lovely daughters... then suddenly realising the reality of your condition denies you this!
why don't you help them out you unthinking nazi wank denying disablist!
or better still, any time to see a disabler person, I suggest you go up and ask them if you could cheer them up by wanking them off as a gift.
(nimrodihnio making gravy for one., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 21:28, Reply)

This
reminded me of that bit in the Bottom Live (2 i think?) video where the audience member shouts out "have a wank". Thanks for the trip down memory lane.
(kebabking - salad and garlic mayo pls, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 16:03, Reply)

Superb
Advice, (Y)
(TaZ44, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 17:25, Reply)