b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Training courses, seminars and conferences » Post 1565383 | Search
This is a question Training courses, seminars and conferences

Inspirational or a waste of precious slacking-off time? I once went on a buzzword bingo-laden training course which ended up with my being held at gunpoint in public. Could have gone better, to be honest. Tell us your tales from either side of the lectern

(, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:01)
Pages: Popular, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

« Go Back

Pre diversity training, I've just been given my Staff Welfare Pack, entitled"All About You".
I should have been given it when I started, but anyway. It contains such pearls of wisdom, such as walking more, including a Pedometer Record Card, and eating more fruit. I also have to be Someone's Superhero, involving drawing names from the theoretical hat, and doing something nice for a colleaguesuch as writing them a poem. Oh, my qualities must include being Thoughtful, Honest, Inspiring, Creative, Courageous and Valuing Difference.
And I can get counselling for £20 a pop.
I'm so looking forward to my training day.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 9:59, 19 replies)
That's not a training course
that's a tick in the corporate responsibility box on some bid your company is going for.

In my company our Values are:

Just like Mr and Mrs Penis who called their son Arthur, they didn't quite think it through
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 10:17, closed)
I sit in these meetings doodling
usually variations on "just kill me now"
or txt the same.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 18:10, closed)
Do you work in telecommunications?
As those values sound suspiciously familiar, when you add "Heart"
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 19:12, closed)
You are one of Captain Planet's Planeteers,
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 19:28, closed)
This corporate stuff just baffles me.
Never having worked in an office with more than 50 people, I have no concept of any of this thinking.

My training for operating within the environment I work in adds up to precisely zero.

The idea of a corporate document telling me to eat vegetables, or a day out learning how to climb a ladder is amusing, if not bizarre.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 10:47, closed)
That reminds me:
I must sign up for Vegetable Safety in the Workplace.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 11:14, closed)
Surely that'll just say "Don't push them down the stairs, no matter how funny it may be!"

(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 11:56, closed)
Wheelchairs: A Tripping Hazard

(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 12:01, closed)
Wheelchair/ladder safety.
Timmy . . .?

Timmy . . . . . ?
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 12:09, closed)
When I worked in construction,
a verbal warning would consist of,"Don't fucking do it again,twat". Harsh, but fair.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 12:30, closed)
There's a bit of a health drive
in my place of work, but I thinks it's justifiable since
a) we're the NHS
b) the office is full of people who would fall foul of the BMI/smoking restrictions that we enforce upon the rest of the population.

Quite why they think complimentary broccoli is the answer, is beyond me.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 13:36, closed)
broccoli is NEVER the answer.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:25, closed)
what if the question is....
what is a more eloquent description of free broccoli ?
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:39, closed)
It is banned under
the Geneva convention, so it's moot.

Fucking broccoli.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:48, closed)
...and his fucking spy films.

(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:23, closed)
I bet you hate sprouts as well......

(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:24, closed)
Fuck yeah
horrible little green cunts.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:27, closed)
I happen to like veg and love sprouts.
In fact, I used to suffer from vegetarianism, and its more serious condition, veganism. It's just I object to being told to eat it. If I want to live on doners, vodka and Curly-Wurlys, I will, and die fat and happy, in 6 months.
(, Wed 21 Mar 2012, 10:09, closed)
is what happens when the woman are allowed into management positions.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 21:39, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Popular, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1