Trapped in the beam
Age 17. A sweltering July night in Florida. I step out the back door of my house to have a sly "massive drugs", after which I gaze at the stars for a while. Too long a while. Mom awakens and goes out to the kitchen. On her return she checks the back door, and locks it. Trapped outside.

How to break into my house wearing only boxer shorts and slippers.

I recall that the garage window is broken and covered by a tarp. I walk around the house to climb through it, when the new police helicopter catches me in its spotlight. Trapped in the beam. What can I do?

I look right at it and give it a cheerful wave before climbing through the window. Then roll another and head back out the door to reclaim the buzz that had been so thoroughly harshed.

Put on pants and took my keys this time.
(Wahoo, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 5:28, 13 replies)

Haha. Sweet.
Imagine living in a regime so degraded and repressive that it needs to patrol its subjects with armed men in helicopters.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 7:39, closed)

I'm assuming OP is white, as they were in Florida and didn't get immediately murdered.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 9:13, closed)

... and in which there's no such thing as a doorbell.
Harsh.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 9:17, closed)

And where cannabis is a 'massive drug'.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 9:27, closed)

To be fair,
Calpol is MASSIVE DRUGS, on this website.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 9:59, closed)

It's a gateway drug.
Next thing they're spreading calomine lotion and popping skittles like there's no tomorrow.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 10:10, closed)

Tell me about it.
Only last week, I took some ibuprofen for a headache that would almost certainly have lifted eventually anyway. I was like some kind of animal.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 11:47, closed)

It's just occurred to me:
How is it possible to be trapped outside? Isn't that about as un-trapped as you're likely to find?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 10:59, closed)

Woah. What if, like, the people in prison are, like, the only ones who are truly 'free'?
Deep, man.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 11:20, closed)

3deep5me

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 11:59, closed)

you've typed your password in the wrong box

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 12:03, closed)

Don't be silly, my password is s3xysh4mbles, you know that.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 12:23, closed)

Is there a group of you
and a drug crazed Paddy?
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 3 Mar 2014, 12:30, closed)