Pigs
Pigs actually have corkscrew shaped tails so the sow cant escape this nasty intrusion. After enduring an orgasm on his part, which can last over an hour, he ejaculates a very sticky substance along with his semen. The sticky substance blocks the vaginal orifice, preventing the semen from escaping, so the bastards impregnate them whether they like it or not. It's almost as bad as rape!!
(Tish-Tash, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 12:42, Reply)

goPoo...
Sorry to be pedantic, but other English words with a double 'i' include:

radii: plural of radius
taxiing: what planes do to get to runways
zombiism: "uuuugh"

alabiing, safariing...
(Hairy, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 12:41, Reply)

Greens
Not all greens are green.
(Fiendish Astronaut, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 12:38, Reply)

Clones
All banana plants in the world are clones, and cannot produce seeds (a banana with seeds is inedible, being full of seeds). If a disease were to hit the banana population it would be wiped out, as they all have the same genetic stock and hence the same weaknesses.
( dr_fonz, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 12:36, Reply)

.
david blunkett went blind after a freak wanking accident involving 2 goats and a close personal friend of his
(fwack bang on it, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 12:27, Reply)

th
trains arte shit they cant go down hills if there is a hill a then a tunnel must be built what cunts
(fwack bang on it, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 12:18, Reply)

In the Dutch "heads, shoulders"
instead of:

"and eyes, and ears, and a mouth, and a nose"

they say:

"ears, eyes, point of the nose".

Useless, but fun :)
(Nothing to see, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 12:10, Reply)

Baseball
In the USA, the 'World Series' of baseball is so named because its first sponsor was the newspaper 'The World'.

(So its like the BarclayCard Premiership for those who cant quite get there).
(lazy_medic, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 12:08, Reply)

the bus stop
in dulwich villiage has a bench next to it, that bench was presented by the dulwich society. its got it written on it. if that aint useless, i dont know what is.
(farmer, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 11:41, Reply)

The word "chunder"
allegedly derives from transportation days when the convicts sent to Australia lived in prison hulks that had several decks. If someone was going to puke they would yell "Chunder!", a corruption of "WatCH out UNDERneath!"
98.3% FACT!!! 111
( PastorSauce : easy on the anchovies..., Sun 20 Mar 2005, 11:02, Reply)

Utterly useless
The founder of Kodak, George Eastman, made up the unusual company name becase he wanted to be sure it was unique. He commited suicide at the age of 72 leaving the note, "To my friends, My work is done--, Why wait?".

"Skiing" is the only word in the English language containing a double "i".

Gorillas cannot swim.

The elephant is the only animal with four knees (with the cartoon exception of Dennis The Menace's dog Gnasher).

Before playing for Manchester United, David Beckham played on loan for one season for Preston North End.

While John O' Groats is generally accepted as the place to travel to from Lands' End, it is not the most northern part of mainland UK. That honour belongs to Dunnet Head to the west.

The Norfolk Broads are largely man-made, the results of hundreds of years of digging peat for fuel.

The 1471 service in the UK was in use for much longer than advertised. It was originally used to identify prank or obscene callers after the matter had been referred to the police.

A research project for BT several years ago looked into the possibility of the telephone network achieving artificial intelligence due to the number of distributed nodes and the introduction of computerised switches. The conclusion of the report can be summarised as, "not yet".
( S tr app y, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 10:42, Reply)

Germany
England, France and Germany all have completely different words for Germany.

France-Allemande
Germany-Deutschland
England-Germany

Not only is that pointless but its dull. Makes you think doesn't it...
(something_smitty, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 10:24, Reply)

Number of legs.
I have more than the average number of legs.
(Fiendish Astronaut, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 9:51, Reply)

Dingos
Saw this show on the tele a while ago, some bloke who breeds dingos (he does so because their bloodlines are being polluted by breeding with domestic dogs that have gone wild) reckons that DNA evidence suggests that all breeds of dogs can be traced to the dingo, thus making them the original dog.
(Pleiades, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 9:00, Reply)

It doesn't appear so
Ok, enough refutations. These are my own, honest-to-goodness 100% FACTs.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was the first ever movie in the U.S. to be rated PG-13.* Basically, lots of violence, but no norks.

Of the four major professional sports in the U.S. combined (baseball, basketball, football, and hockey... yes hockey still counts), only eight teams total don't end in the letter S. Have fun figuring that one out.

*(For non-Americans, our rating system goes: G - general audiences, PG - parental guidance sggested, PG-13 - parental guidance suggested for children under 13, R - restricted [under 17] without adult, NC-17 - no children under 17 admited)
(monkey explosion, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 7:11, Reply)

Will he ever shut up?!
Marilyn Manson did not star on the U.S. television show The Wonder Years, in his youth. The character he is alleged to have played, Paul, was played by a kid named Josh Saviano. Manson's real name is Brian Warner (maybe spelled Werner).
(monkey explosion, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 7:03, Reply)

Still more
Most hybrids are sterile, but every once and a great while, one is born fertile. I believe this applies to mules as well.
(monkey explosion, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 7:00, Reply)

Even more
Not just anyone saved Thomas Edison's last breath in a jar. Henry Ford,the ol' Jew-hater himself, did.

Ok, that part may be apocryphal, but they were friends. And the last breath jar DOES exist. It is housed in the Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn, Michigan.

(sub-useless facts: Most, if not all, of Dearborn, Michigan was formerly part of Henry Ford's estate. His home, Fair Lane, exists on the remainder of the estate, across the street from Fairlane Mall... ah, consumerism. Many other business in the area bear the Fairlane name.)
(monkey explosion, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 6:58, Reply)

More
Michael Jackson does not own the rights ALL of the Beatles' songs. He owns the rights to all of the Lennon/McCartney authored Beatles' songs. George wasn't a sellout.
(monkey explosion, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 6:52, Reply)

Next
Humpty dumpty being an egg comes from earlier versions of the nursery rhyme, which went something like:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again
What was Humpty Dumpty?
(kiddles answer)
An egg!

The latter lines dropped away in later editions.
(monkey explosion, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 6:49, Reply)

I read em all!!
And golly if there weren't a lot of repeats.

And partially or utterly incorrect info.

I apologize in advance, I'm anal like that. (been keeping notes of stuff to correct as I read along)

The main reason that American English spells things differently than the folks in the UK has it's roots in Noah Webster, father of the modern dictionary. He thought that some of the British spellings were confusing, or useless (The U in colour really isn't necessary, now is it?) and he desired to simplify things. Someone mentioned Theodore Roosevelt earlier. He isn't the force behind these much earlier changes, but he did try to simplifiy things even further (knife would be nife, ect.) by executive order, but pretty much no one agreed with him, and he really pissed off Congress by doing so without working through them to legislate the change. His efforts failed, but he did continue to use Simplified English in his personal correspondence, I believe for the rest of his life.
(monkey explosion, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 6:46, Reply)

useless
9/11 actually happened on 11/9!
(peelypotato, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 6:45, Reply)

My best friend is dying of cancer.
It's 100% fact as of today.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 5:09, Reply)

I am not drunk
100% of fact!
(Corn Dog, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 4:45, Reply)

Snakes evolved directly from dolphins.
In fact, they're the only animals that have evolved. Everything else was invented by Yaweh, during the Genesis.
(Corn Dog, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 4:44, Reply)

Sean Connery
100% of Homosexual

but surely you already knew that.
(Corn Dog, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 4:42, Reply)

my middle name is Derek
100% FACT

and the Taj Mahal doesn't exist.
(Corn Dog, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 4:39, Reply)

Male elephants have a 'motive penis'
They are are too big to 'hump', and so have an arrangement that moves back and forth by itself when excited.
( hismastersvice cunting flange-jammer, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 3:33, Reply)

sorry last one...
the euro coin is only supposed to have the countries using it on its map (although the uk appears there occasionally)

leaving out norway and denmark means there's an extended donger in the top right corner of every euro coin :D


(adeh, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 3:19, Reply)

oh yeah another one
the (admittedly lame) insult 'you suck' was originally a nautical put-down...

if a boat (we're talking sailboats here) had a large wake behind it the water would 'suck' at the hull and slow the boat down... leading to 'your boat sucks / is sucking' being a kind of insult, which we then ended up using on each other...


crap i know. but true! honest!
(adeh, Sun 20 Mar 2005, 3:11, Reply)