The day I drank too much absinthe.
I had the weirdest drunken experience of my life (so far) one sunny saturday when I was 18.
I used to work in a bar, and me and my friends met up there one evening at about 5pm for some pre-house-party drinks.
Seeing as I worked there I was almost immediately asked what the cheapest/strongest drinks were, and, like a fool, I recommended absinthe.
I'd tried it a couple of times before, and it seemed to accelerate me to a slightly higher drunken plateau, like 3 pints of drunken tomfoolery condensed into a shot, so I didn't need much egging on before I agreed to have one.
My less-experienced (possibly only 17 year old) friends stood wide-eyed as my colleague went through the ritual - sugar lump on spoon, dipped in absinthe, set alight, allowed to caramelise, stirred in, doused with soda - and I confidently knocked it back. It tastes like a health food shop smells, for anyone who hasn't tried it.
10 or 15 minutes pass, and more of my friends turn up - we're ready to leave. Before that, however, the others start to boast about me.
"You should've seen Paolo, he's been drinking absinthe!"
"Bollocks, he's a lightweight. He'd be on the floor"
It was decided that the only way to prove I had drunk one was to drink another.
So I did.
I learned later that both the first and second barmen decided to slip more than a shot in - I probably had closer to 4 shots in about 30 minutes. Not recommended.
I remember piling into a car (one of us had just finished work so was sober), driving for about 20 minutes, getting to the house, opening the door-

-and finding myself in a taxi. No blank bits in my mind, no fuzzy edges, no passing out; I opened the front door and was sat in the back seat of a cab, going to pick up munchies from Tesco.
I still remember looking around in confusion. It's how I imagine people feel after being hypnotised. I remember nothing - we had apparently watched an episode of the Simpsons, but that half an hour or so had been seamlessly removed, the edges of my consciousness stitched together so perfectly that I had no sleepy moments, no gradual fading out, just 100% out of it, 100% back. My friends said I behaved normally too.
I was genuinely worried it might have been the first showing of epilepsy or something, but this hasn't happened before or since (as far as I'm aware at least)

Don't fuck around with absinthe.

TL;DR? I Drank absinthe and it surgically removed 30 minutes, then stitched the edges back together.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 10:44, 25 replies)

You fucking lightweight.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 10:54, closed)

I prefer "cheap date".

(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 10:57, closed)

Knock yourself out
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 11:13, closed)

Cheap shit.

(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 11:17, closed)

I know the experience!
I was staying in Prague for 2 months in 2003 (I live here now) and decided it was high time to try this notorious drink that was all but banned in the UK. I was in a small late bar and encouraged to do so by the unbelievably attractive barmaid who I was trying to chat up (and failing miserably). So I had one large shot, and went home soon after. This was on Friday night.

I woke up in the morning with the worst hangover I'd had in years. I'd had a fair bit of beer before the absinthe but that was nothing unusual and I never felt like this after just beer. I had to go out later and discovered that the trams and buses were out of sync with the timetable - there were far fewer and they weren't on time. Odd, as public transport is excellent here.

Of course, it was me that was out of sync as the trams and buses were adhering perfectly to the Sunday timetable.

Never again - in any case I'm now not allowed to drink spirits for medical reasons and I don't miss them at all.
(eesnahk, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 11:51, closed)

Attractive barmaid serves you a shot and you lose an entire day?
Have you checked to see if you still have both kidneys?
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 11:55, closed)

Difference being, you'll have had actual absinthe, not the shit they import for sale in UK pubs that's about half the strength.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:00, closed)

You can still get 70% absinthe over here (or you could 10 - 15 years ago at least)
But it doesn't have wormwood in it, which is the stuff that makes it hallucinogenic your muscles spazz out.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:09, closed)

It's not hallucinogenic.
Any of it. It doesn't have now, and has never had, in any country, a high enough concentration of wormwood in to be hallucinogenic. In fact Czech Absinth is, effectively, coloured flavoured strong vodka. French Absinthe does at least have some wormwood in it, but it's not enough to even drag the tiniest trip out of a mouse.

What happens is that it's got more alcohol in it than most things. That, coupled with idiots talking themselves up over "ooohh absinthe" and the bollocks of the ritual, means people convince themselves it's having a special effect.

tl/dr - Absinth makes you drunk. Nothing else. Never has done, never will do, no matter if you're an 18 year old in a pub in Droitwich or Lautrec in a seedy strip bar in turn of the century Paris.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:39, closed)

This, I drank a bottle with a mate in 2002 and we just got very drunk

( Peej, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:54, closed)

Indeed, but a LOT more alcohol in it!
I too seem to be in a not-very-exclusive club of people who tried it in Prague in the early '90s. There's a pic of six of us, with me holding up a beer mat with 24 ticks against the Absinthe. No one mentioned diluting it with water and sugar (as was done in the past).

Worst. Hangover. Ever.

Only time I was hungover the whole day, and woke the next day still feeling shit!!
( da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 21:14, closed)

70%? I've got a bottle of 98% at home...
It's nice, but it fucks you up. Srsly
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 19:21, closed)

No you haven't.
Well, to clarify, you might have but it's either a)98% proof so actually 49% ABV or b) the label on the bottle is total bullshit.

You can't have a distilled neutral spirit higher than about 95% because ethanaol and water forms an azeotropic mixture. The only way to get higher concentrations of ethanol, the sort of stuff we use in the lab, is to drive the remaining water off in a vacuum distillation with benzene (or something similar). So, yeah, 98% ethanol is possible. It's just it'd be 2% benzene as well, and it srsly would fuck you up, you'd be dead in seconds.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 13:12, closed)

Apologies, 89% not 98.
I'm pretty sure the label says 89.9% ABV though.

Hapsburg Hardcore
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 13:57, closed)

haha, I wasn't looking for an apology.
Simply establishing LIES ON THE INTERNET is all I need ;)

As an aside, anything that strong does become a fairly pointless drink. Since botanicals in spirits are carried in both the water and the alcohol, by taking it up to that level you're effectively removing half your flavour. I believe the strongest freely available spirit is Everclear 190, which is dead on 95% ABV. But since Everclear has, effectively, no flavour, that doesn't really matter.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 14:05, closed)

I had a bottle of that once.
Potent stuff. A shot of that with the flaming sugar trick is a far more effective wake up call than red bull could ever be.
(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Wed 20 Feb 2013, 18:22, closed)

Yeah when I was young the drugs were much better, too.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:29, closed)

The same shit they sell in Prague is exactly the same shit you get here.
Modern Czech Absinth was never banned anywhere. French Absinthe, which is a slightly different drink, was banned in the US and France for a while, but that was mostly temperance and prohibition driving it rather than the drink itself.

It's never been banned in the UK. Either variety. The "absinth revivial" is just a massive late 90s marketing scam.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:44, closed)

Haha, "actual absinthe"
The first absinthe that was imported into the UK in the '90s was Hill's Absinthe from the Czech Republic, so it was most likely the same stuff. Also, just to scotch any rubbish about "wormwood" being hallucinogenic, the active ingredient thujone can cause muscle spasms, but that's about it.

[edit] Ah, mighty badger, you beat me to it
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:52, closed)

There's an off licence near shepards bush tube station.
That specialises in absinthe. Any kind you could possibly imagine from 55% up to 90. Three whole walls, plus a window full of bottles and a small magazine rack. Brilliant place.

Eastern European absinthe is nasty chemically stuff that is generally over 70% and is little more than horridly strong booze. Typically drunk by necking it after stirring a melted spoon of sugar into it.

French absinthe is a different animal. The good stuff is generally around the 60% mark and it rarely goes above 70. It contains the more funky ingredients and should be prepared by mixing it with water that is dripped into it over a sugar cube. It should then be sipped, and generally treated more like pastis than a shot.

All of the hallucinogenic reputation comes from the fact that wormwood in sufficient quantities can cause them, but it mostly comes as an attempt to explain why 100 or so years ago, highly strung Parisian bohemian types tended to go slightly loopy after years of abusing the stuff.
(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 21:31, closed)

I used to work in a pub in Prague
getting people smashed on absinthe. I'm not a very attractive barmaid though, sorry.
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:02, closed)

Most likely...
...the barmaid saw that giving me absinthe was an excellent way of getting rid of me. Can't say I blame her, really.
(eesnahk, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:09, closed)

Did you ever used to go to Batalion?
Was a good after hours place when I lived there, the barmaids were fit as fuck and used to let me fall asleep. Looked a bit poncey when I was over last month :(
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 22:19, closed)

Well, cheers guys, nice way to tell me I DO have epilepsy.
You could've broken it to me gentler, you bunch o' cunts.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 15:14, closed)

( 4Q just lurking, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 19:26, closed)