voyeurism&vandelisam
back in the mists of time when i was just a pup i was helping out at school by keeping away from the place.to fill the days in me and my mate gaz used to keep the rabbit population on its toes.walking around a pit slag heap we noteist a car parked up so we creeped up for a closer look only to see a spotty arse going up & down & a bird looking pissed off underneath it. after a couple of minutes we get board so we started throwing bricks at this car. i have never seen a man panick as much. the poor fucker was in a right state moneing about how he was going to explane about the damage to his wife.serves the cheating bastard right
(hello mr wolf, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 15:24, 20 replies)

I can see that
you are a stranger to spelling and punctuation. And good behaviour. Tit - either spell check or fuck off back to school.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 16 Oct 2007, 15:26, closed)

I want to spunk up your back and rub pickled cabbage on your nipples

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 15:37, closed)

Dude, just for reference...
In your title...

Please include spaces and vandelisam should be vandalism.

Capital letters cost nothing. Nor do spaces following full stops.

You didn't go to school - we can see the results.

Slagheap does not require a space.

Between in and me you need a comma. An apostrophe in "it's would also be valuable. How did you keep the rabbit population on it's toes?

You noticed, not noteist, and crept, not creeped. Again, the repitition of & is inappropriate.

Why was the woman pissed off? It wasn't a rape, surely.

Bored, not board. The, not this.

Panic, not panick.

Moaning, not moneing.

Explain, not explane.

Explain the damage to his wife? Was his wife there? Perhaps you should consider improving your sentence structure.

And you missed the full stop at the end. No doubt I've missed stuff but you really should go to remedial lessons, you dumb twat. If you can't write, or tell a good story, fuck off!

Love

Disasterprone.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 16 Oct 2007, 16:00, closed)

There's a minute of my life I'm never getting back...
I am staggered.

...and the award for 'Sub-human Chav of the week' goes to you, hello mr wolf.

Your post is a damning indictment on today's educational standards.

Thank you for making us all feel a bit more intelligent.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 16 Oct 2007, 16:04, closed)

Actually, DP,
you don't need an apostrophe in the "keep the rabbit population on its toes" phrase.

But the rest of the punctuation and spelling is crap.

Incidentally, I wonder if anyone will ever be brave enough to challenge rachelswipe about her lack of capitalisation? Or do we just accept that it's her "house style"?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 16:35, closed)

there is nothing wrong...
with not capitalising.

and I'm not just saying that because it's rswipe!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 16:38, closed)

k2k6
Actually the "its'" is possessive so does require an apostrophe, although I put it in the wrong place.

So we're both right, and both dim.

DP
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 16 Oct 2007, 16:43, closed)

I dispute the apostrophe
does its not indicate possession without the aforementioned apostrophe?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 16:44, closed)

Not the case, DP
"Its" is a possessive pronoun, like his and hers, and as such does not require an apostrophe. "It's" is a contraction of "it is".

This is probably the most frequently made punctuation error in the English language.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 16:49, closed)

Do you know
I believe you're right...

Despite being an English graduate, I may be wrong. ALthoughI'm certain there is a case for using and apostrophe after its'.

Please clarify...
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 16 Oct 2007, 16:52, closed)

don't think so
you would add an apostrophe in the manner you are saying to a plural noun, such as houses', but not as its'

not in my experience anyway
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 16:57, closed)

apostrophes
I don't think that there's ever any need for an apostrophe anywhere near the possessive "its" and can't think how that would make sense in any context.

More generally, what a waste of a post.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 16:59, closed)

Evidently
far too long since I've had to write a criticised piece of work.

And enzyme, better to enquire about apostrophes than to plagiarise, wouldn't you agree?

And what is more pointless than a comment on a pointless post?
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 16 Oct 2007, 17:03, closed)

DP
For sure...

Pointless post, yes - but I'm an unashamed grammatical pedant and just couldn't help myself. So it goes. I don't get the plagiarism point, though.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 16 Oct 2007, 17:11, closed)

hello mr wolf is a talented satirist in the tradition of Molesworth
or a silly twat.
(Radio Free iPods "Fickt nicht mit dem Raketenmensch!", Tue 16 Oct 2007, 21:36, closed)

Grammar
Indeed, the grammar regarding it's/its is as follows:

When indicating that a noun belongs to something or someone, an apostrophe is an error for which the offender should be stripped naked and whipped (unless they like that sort of thing), eg. 'This is my cactus, that is its beer.'

When indicating that a noun is something, the apostrophe must be present, eg 'This is my cactus, that is its beer, it's cold.'

Whether the cactus or the beer is cold is up for debate.
(Stu Moo winner of five nobble piece prizes, Wed 17 Oct 2007, 0:38, closed)

.
He He He He He
(hello mr wolf, Wed 17 Oct 2007, 1:32, closed)

Time wasted?
I just wasted more time reading the replies than the story.
Who's wasting time now?
(Bluffboy South Africa! World Champions!!!, Wed 17 Oct 2007, 7:41, closed)

It's/Its
I used to get this wrong all the time, then along came - www.angryflower.com/itsits.gif and I can finally remember it!
( SteamedCleaner, Wed 17 Oct 2007, 7:56, closed)

Great Link!
Thanks very much - I hate misused apostrophes, and now realise I'm a criminal myself...

Oops.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 17 Oct 2007, 9:06, closed)