Weddings Part IIAttending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.
Tell us more of your wedding stories.
(
chthonic, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 18:10)
« Go Back
It didn't last longI was about to split up with a bloke as the relationship was becoming domestic and passionless, then he did the whole bended knee thing and proposed to me. I got swept up in the romance of it.
At the reception, my dad delivered on my request for "an embarrassing speech", but not in the affectionately piss-taking, baby photos-type way I'd imagined. Instead, he listed all the times I'd been arrested as a teenager, for petty crime and public order offences, as I felt like sinking into the floor and the groom's very middle class and ambitious family all awkwardly stared at their table.
Two weeks later, I found out my husband owed thousands of pounds in unpaid tax, was massively in debt and had lied to me about his previous relationships. I moved out soon after and filed for divorce as soon as I could.
Not getting married again.
(, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 10:53, 5 replies)
Public order offences.Are you still up for them?
(
edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 12:08,
closed)
I keep out of trouble these days, I am a grown up with a responsible job, mortgage and massive drugs(, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 13:07, closed)
Massive drugs ormassive amounts of drugs. I made an enormous joint once. It was inefficient.
(, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 16:17, closed)
"Ah Carruthers, glad you could come.Now how can we go about improving the efficiency of my enormous joint?"
(
edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 7 Nov 2014, 17:11,
closed)
« Go Back