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This is a question Weddings Part II

Attending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.

Tell us more of your wedding stories.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 18:10)
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One, two, three, four
As a sometime church organist I've seen/heard(/inflicted) my fair share of wedding music horrors.

I was once asked to accompany a trumpeter who would be playing "the Ave Maria" during the signing of the registers. Which Ave Maria? "Errrr..." There's two which are commonly chosen. There's the Bach/Gounod, and the Schubert. "Oh, it's the Bach." Sure? "Yes. Definitely the Bach."

Fine. Trumpeter goes off and learns the Bach.

Come the morning of the wedding, and the bride's mother hears the trumpeter playing the Bach. "That's nice, what is it?" "It's the Ave Maria for the signing of the registers." "Oh, no! That's not how it goes. We want the one that goes [starts warbling] Aaaaaaaaaa-ve Ma-riiiiiiiiii" etc.

Oh, you mean the Schubert.

Go home. Print off sheet music for the Schubert. Give to trumpeter. Trumpeter is bricking it at this point.

The wedding was three hours later. The trumpeter had been practising for three hours and had learned pretty much all the tune. Unfortunately he had, somehow, failed to spot that the piece is in 4/4 and was labouring under the misapprehension that it was in 3/4.

On the one hand, it's probably the only wedding I've played for where the guests have actually listened to the music during the registers. Sadly this wasn't due to the quality of the performance but more because they were pissing themselves at me shouting "ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!" at the poor trumpeter. Ah well.
(, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 17:55, 9 replies)
I wish I had been there. sounds like a hoot. an absolute hoot.

(, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 18:50, closed)
I like this.
I heard a similar story from a bass soloist for the "Messiah" who found out on the morning of the performance that the conductor was going to do the long version of "The Trumpet Shall Sound", which is relatively rarely performed, so he had to learn the extra section on the train on the way down to the concert venue.
(, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 18:59, closed)
Its charitable to assume a person isn't simply boasting when they tell a story
But in this case he clearly did mean to blow his own trumpet
(, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 19:25, closed)
or whatever the trumpet equivalent is
(, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 22:38, closed)

(, Sat 15 Nov 2014, 5:52, closed)
by Jove he has hit it out of the ground

(, Sat 15 Nov 2014, 13:08, closed)
Oh so you're the bedwetter who has me on Ignore 2.0

(, Sat 15 Nov 2014, 12:52, closed)

(, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 21:01, closed)
I'm trying to imagine either version of Ave Maria
in 3/4, and struggling.

That trumpeter was a bit of a genius.
(, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 9:47, closed)

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