I count out the rhythm of any sexual activity by resolving the dates of famous historical events into their prime factors.
So the Battle of Hastings is 14101066 which resolves to 2 x 7 x 773 x 1303.

But I'm only allowed to climax when the event has three or fewer factors. So Henry VIII took the throne on 21 April 1509 which is 19 x 269 x 419. Bingo. Moneyshot.

If there is only one factor then I allow myself to defecate while I ejaculate. Which is why I love JFK.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:31, 16 replies)

Marvellous.
*clicks*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:46, closed)

Close the qotw.
Clicks
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:49, closed)

fantastic!
even more so if it's true.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:51, closed)

LIES!
No one on this messageboard ever indulges in any sort of sexual activity.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:57, closed)

Busted.
[sadface]
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:01, closed)

Busted's James Bourne was born on 13th September 1983
1391983 = 23 x 60521
[VINEGARFACE]
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:03, closed)

Horsehit.
The place is populated by wankers and you know it.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:02, closed)

^wanking to qotw answers^

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:08, closed)

Of course.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:11, closed)

You know, I'm going to take this with a pinch a salt.
I'm nobody's fool, me.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:52, closed)

[salt'n'vinegarface]

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 17:00, closed)

You DO know me! :)

(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 22:43, closed)

Doesn't everyone do this?

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 15 Dec 2011, 18:30, closed)

I bet you factor good and proper
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 19:29, closed)

Perfect
*click*
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 20:24, closed)

This is so great...

That I thought I'd crack off a rapid, under-the-desk-at-the-office spurter to the alphabetised-equivilent number code of 'Dr Shambolic'.

The result is 4x18x19x8x1x13x2x15x12x9x3

But unfortunately I spaffed after the first 4

*shames*

still, a hearty click for you.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 16 Dec 2011, 15:57, closed)