Witnessed? Not first hand…Crime? Not strictly speaking…but bear with me...

If I may make so bold as to be another B3tard that takes advantage of the ‘whatever’ part of the QOTW…

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned in the ‘Bastard Colleagues’ QOTW about a place where I used to work and a shit-shovelling spack-potato of a manager called ‘Burnsey’

I also mentioned that a good friend of mine and fellow B3tard (Mudbutton) had just been promoted to Team Leader, but due to the bullshit, backstabbing, brown-nosing, politically correct policies and crap all round management I said that the place was going down the bog quicker than a runny poo on roller skates.

Not even 3 short weeks later, and I hear that Mudbutton is out of a job. On the dole. On his arse. In my opinion this is a matter of supreme injustice.

Here’s what happened…

Mudbutton was one of the very few people whose career progressed there because of merit and hard work. It wasn’t a meteoric rise, simply because he got his job done well and didn’t kiss arse…he just kept plugging away. He’s a single father caring for 2 kids, and is a popular bloke, this helped smooth things when he earned promotions as nobody begrudged him reward for his efforts.

However, when Mudbutton was promoted this time, it put him in charge of somebody who thought that it should have been them that was promoted instead…and the ‘wronged party’ was a woman so vicious and vindictive that she would make Cruella DeVille look like Minnie Mouse on happy pills. Let’s call her ‘C’.

‘C’ complained to her manager about the appointment – He asked her to accept the company’s decision. She then took her complaint to her manager’s manager …he stated the reasons for Mudbutton’s promotion.

She then complained to HIS manager – who said that he wasn’t happy she’d felt the need to take it to this level, and that the reason Mudbutton got the job instead of her was simply because he was the best candidate for the job, (i.e better at it than she was). He then gave some reasons why she wasn’t considered as ‘focus points’ for her to concentrate on so that she might be successful next time.

Did she listen? Did she take the hint? Did she my shiny cock-end.

She marched to HR and complained that it must be against company policy for somebody else to get promoted instead of her. She was told to pull herself together, get over it, and move on.

She went to her ‘colleagues’, trying to gather support for her cause, pleading for everyone to march en masse in sympathy of her as a revolution at the travesty of Mudbutton’s appointment. They weren’t having any of it.

She tried to turn his own team against him, stirring up gossip and rumours, hoping to bring about a vote of no confidence.

But as I said…Mudbutton was popular, ‘C’ wasn’t. They all collectively told her to ‘get to fuck’.

On Friday, 8th Feb, Mudbutton received the ‘Nintendo Wii’ joke email that is currently doing the rounds. For those of you that haven’t seen it, it shows a hand going up and down a Wii remote, and some cock custard spurting over a tv screen. I thought it was funny anyway.

Now this woman was stood behind Mudbutton when he received this email. He opened it, laughed and closed it again. Before he deleted it, ‘C’ sprung into action and hatched a plan…a plan so spiteful that she was willing to sacrifice her own career simply to bring Mudbutton down.

“Ooh that’s a funny email” she snorted to Mudbutton. “Can you forward it to me so I can send it to my friends? – They’ll think it’s brilliant”

Mudbutton is a kind man – he foolishly trusted her and saw this as an olive branch to help build the working relationship after the shite she had done the past couple of weeks.

“No problem” he said. Those two words, and one click of his mouse cost him his livelihood.

‘C’ finished work on the Friday and spent the weekend sorting out her statements and getting her story straight. She came into work on the Monday, did her job for a bit, had normal, rational conversations with everybody then went home early.

She went straight to her doctor and got herself signed off for 2 weeks with sexual harassment induced stress.

After informing the company, they promptly dragged Mudbutton’s unsuspecting ass into HR and informed him of the incident.

“She asked me to send it to her!” He pleaded.

“Any witnesses?” asked HR

“Nope” said Mudbutton.

“We must facilitate the moralistic highground scenario” said Burnsey, (which translates as:)

“Despite the fact that we know you’ve been done up like a kipper, we’re pressing the ‘panic’ button…You’re fucking out of here matey, and we’re going to do wank-diddley all to support you.”

“Shit-cakes” said Mudbutton.

Lo and behold he was immediately suspended and escorted off the premises. He was called by HR ‘off the record’ and informed that he was to be sacked on Monday, and the best thing for all concerned would be to come in with his resignation and return his company lease car.

This is all bad enough – but in her bloodlust at Mudbutton she forgot something…the poor bastard who originally sent him the email works there too…and he used to be quite a good friend of ‘C’…

He has been given the same treatment though...and has been forced to resign today.

‘C’ has said that she is too 'distressed' to go back into work and the word is she will receive a BIG payoff.

Now if that’s not a crime….
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 19 Feb 2008, 12:01, 18 replies)

...
Yikes.

EDIT: The more I think about this, the more it seems to me that there'd be plentiful grounds to appeal. Not just that there's circumstantial evidence of petty vindictiveness, but also on the basis that the evidence is simply one person's word against another's. Allowing the basic claim that it's up to the complainant to prove her assertions, and that that is difficult for the same reason that makes it difficult for M to disprove them, he looks to have justice on his side. Moreover, even if disproof can't be given, it shouldn't matter: he shouldn't be expected to give it in the first place (innocence being the presumption an' all).

Is M in a union? They might be able to help him construct his case. There's something fishy going on...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 19 Feb 2008, 12:05, closed)

'C' is for Cunt
Thoroughly nasty sort!
*click* for your usual eloquence...
I'm still pissing myself at "did she my shiny cock-end". Makes me wish I had one so I could pinch that expression lol.
Maybe I could have a metaphorical cock and use it anyway? The expression, that is, not the cock.

EDIT:
I really do hope that justice will prevail i.e. Mudbutton lands on his feet, and Cunt lands on her arse!
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 19 Feb 2008, 12:18, closed)

@Enzyme
God bless your brilliant brain!

Mudbutton admitted to sending the email and the evidence is that the email was sent from him...there is tragic irony that 'C' had access to his email account - he now says that he's kicking himself that he didn't deny everything...he's too bloody honest!

They also made us all sign a document years ago that stated we knew it was considered gross misconduct if any of us were caught sending an email that could cause offence.

The place he worked does not have a union. I think there may have been grounds for an appeal - and that's why the company did themselves a favour by 'advising' him to resign before he was sacked.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 19 Feb 2008, 12:27, closed)

Hmmm...
His having agreed to resign is a problem - it's a bit quick to claim constructive dismissal.

But - and this might be useful for remaining employees to bear in mind - "...gross misconduct if any of us were caught sending an email that could cause offence" is a crock, for the simple reason that just about anything can cause offence; the criterion is simply too vague to be enforceable, I'd've thought. Add to that the fact that offensiveness is something imputed by the person offended: it's not an intrinsic quality. M sounds like he committed a schoolboy error, but, all the same, it's not egregious.

Here's the Scottish Enlightenment's finest, David Hume, in his Treatise of Human Nature:
"Take any action allow'd to be vicious: Wilful murder, for instance. Examine it in all lights, and see if you can find that matter of fact, or real existence, which you call vice. In which-ever way you take it, you find only certain passions, motives, volitions and thoughts. There is no other matter of fact in the case. The vice entirely escapes you, as long as you consider the object. You never can find it, till you turn your reflexion into your own breast, and find a sentiment of disapprobation, which arises in you, towards this action. Here is a matter of fact; but 'tis the object of feeling, not of reason. It lies in youself, not in the object. So that when you pronounce any action or character to be vicious, you mean nothing, but that from the constitution of your nature you have a feeling or sentiment of blame from the contemplation of it."

Sunstitute "offensive" for "wilful murder", and there you go...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 19 Feb 2008, 12:38, closed)

That is just not cricket...
nor sporting in any way.

If there is no union, I would advise him to speak to ACAS in the first instance. However, if he has resigned rather than being sacked, it may be difficult to do anything. Unfortunately you do have to be soooo careful of not offending anyone in the workplace these days - we got bollocked recently for saying 'Jesus' as a colleague reckoned it offended his religious sensibilities.

'C' will get her comeuppance at some stage in her life, of that I am sure. Hopefully sooner rather than later.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 19 Feb 2008, 12:46, closed)

Karma!
I'm a firm believer in what goes around comes around and she'll get hers. Lets hope it's at the end of a big red shiny cock-end.
( girlinthehole, Tue 19 Feb 2008, 12:59, closed)

Here's an idea...
In the spirit of "wimminz rights" and all that jizz, how about burning Cunt's bra whilst she is wearing the fucker?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 19 Feb 2008, 13:06, closed)

@Enzyme

I can't remember the actual wording of the form we had to sign - but the word 'pornographic' was definitely mentioned in it...and Mudbutton's email was classed as such.

Oddly, Mudbutton's exact term for what he did was 'schoolboy error' - he is remarkabley positive and upbeat about the situation. He is looking at the whole thing as a learning experience and as a possible springboard to a better job and life (which I find humbling - he is a greater man than I).

But still, we did get fucking ratarsed last night about the whole thing.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 19 Feb 2008, 13:07, closed)

While I'm in the mood...
Here's another philosopher taken out of context: I'm pretty confident that C is, or will end her life, in the words of Hobbes, "solitary, poore, nasty, brutish and short".
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 19 Feb 2008, 13:14, closed)

C is an evil bitch.
Hopefully mudbutton will get somewhere better while C ends up dying in a skip, gnawed by cats.
(Big D, Tue 19 Feb 2008, 13:23, closed)

My standard reply in circumstances such as these
"Shit through her letterbox. It's the only language people like this understand"
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Tue 19 Feb 2008, 13:32, closed)

He could very well have grounds for a pay off himself
There's a very specific procedure to be followed to sack somebody, no mater how gross the misconduct, and being escorted off site followed off the record chats is not part of it. Seriously a solicitor will get an instant payout, if not his job back.

Something similar happened to myself, if a woman takes against you in the work place your fucked. In my case there wasn't even any manufactured evidence the bitch monster just made stuff up.

But when it was all finaly settled I ended up with 18 months pay in my back pocket...so not all bad then.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 19 Feb 2008, 13:55, closed)

Blimey Charlie.....
Suddenly sitting at my PC applying for jobs has become a hell of a lot more entertaining. Reading the post and all the replies has cheered me up no end.

Another amazing post Pooflake, i guess one of the bonuses of being out of a job is that i can hopefully dedicate a little more time to posting on here rather than trying to further myself in a piss pot company like that one.

speaking of posts.... I witnessed a crime? now Pooflake if you dig quite a while back you may remember we collectively witnessed a crime early one work morning whilst also getting paid overtime for it, ah... them were the days.

Cheers for everyones constructive comments but to be perfectly honest i doubt very much if i will pursue a case, however "burning her bra, whilst she is wearing it" sounds like a top idea :)
(MudButton does not mean to offend but......, Tue 19 Feb 2008, 14:20, closed)

B.A. Barrackus
The A-Team would straighten that bint out mate. Give 'em a call.
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Tue 19 Feb 2008, 15:01, closed)

burning her bra, whilst she is wearing it
Dat's ma goil!

You can always rely on my beloved for a sensible, logical and realistic approach to a problem :oD
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 19 Feb 2008, 16:21, closed)

name and shame please
you know they deserve it.
(gordonjcp, Tue 19 Feb 2008, 19:21, closed)

^^^I couldn't possibly...
I’d have to be very CAReful in case i crOss the LINE…

oh yes...

I'd be a right 'erbert if I did something like that...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 20 Feb 2008, 16:30, closed)

^^ Subtle
Very subtle...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 Feb 2008, 18:34, closed)