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This is a question Worst Band Ever

If I was in charge of the B3ta fatwa department, we wouldn't be hearing too much from Simply Red in the future. Who's on your musical shit list and why?

(, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 12:00)
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Twee for Twats
I vote for Fredrika Stahl for somehow managing to epitomise the currently fashionable brand of advert-friendly twee bullshit folk with her stomach-churningly pathetic rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little fucking Star (as heard in the recent Nissan commercial), a song choice so embarrassingly precious that not even a decent singer could pull it off without sounding like a cringingly sentimental bell-end.

But a decent singer she is not. The “care free” style of singing that she is so self-consciously trying to pull off combines with the pained flailing of single syllables until she just sounds like a drunken 11 year old boy whose balls haven’t quite dropped. The result is nauseating in the extreme. Like gorging on an enormous My Little Pony birthday cake and 3 litres of Calpol.

Who buys this absolute guff? Presumably the same menstruating dullards that buy chunky faux mother of pearl jewelery from Dorothy Perkins, litter their IKEA coffee table with copies of Vogue and use a “deliciously quirky” cupcake fridge magnet to attach their yoga schedule to their Activia containing fridge. Safe, pseudo-emotive music for boring, emotionless cunts. I find it more irritating than the most manufactured of Cowell tripe simply for having ideas so far above its station.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 16:26, 7 replies)
mainly because I agree, but also due to the phrase "menstruating dullards" :D
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 16:41, closed)
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 17:29, closed)
You should.
You might learn a thing or two.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 20:07, closed)
Sorry about that.
Would you prefer it if I'd just put "Coldplay are shite lol"?
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 20:11, closed)
Oh sweet jesus
I didn't even know her name but there's a slew of this naueatingly twee fucking music around on adverts at the moment and I'd happily chew my arms off rather than listen to it again.

This is why, Chez Emvee, the TV is muted during commercial breaks.
(, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 10:19, closed)
Serves you right for watching adverts.
OK, that's a little harsh, but it is possible to live a perfectly good life without listening to any of the things you mentioned.
(, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 20:05, closed)
My girlfriend sits through hours of me playing out-dated foggy N64 corridor shooters
in return I occasionally sit through the odd episode of Come Dine With Me and subsequent adverts. A fair trade off so as not to spend the rest of my life rotting alone I feel. Besides, it gives me rant ammunition.
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 8:39, closed)

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