I lost my
cherry to a female 5 years my senior.
She seduced me with home made strawberry wine and wandering hands.
She liked my hot teenage body and diamond-like hardness.

Later on she tried to stab me with scissors.
.
( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:10, archived)

Hot teenage body?
This is the internet, you've NEVER had a hot teenage body. Apart from the one in your cellar.


Oh...
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:12, archived)

he meant it was warm

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:14, archived)

Way to ruin the joke, fucko.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:15, archived)

He's doing well for an autistic kid.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:16, archived)

He's not autistic, he's just a twat.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:18, archived)

I know, I was being sarcastic
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:18, archived)

I know you were, I was being blunt.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:20, archived)

Also, I reckon he's got you on ignore, so we can say anything about him here.
And if he hasn't it'll be funny all the same.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:19, archived)

Yeah, probably.
Because he's so scared of me, online, that he can't make remarks to my (online) face without having a minor heart attack.

It's like JMG vs. piston_broke, remade by the Sunderland Independent Film Corporation.
"AN' INSTEAD OF GOOIN' DOON TA THE LOOCAL SHOP, HE'S STAYED AT HOME WOBBLIN' ON THE INTERNET!"
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:21, archived)

It's a beautiful story

( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:12, archived)

It's a classic tale.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:13, archived)

Boy meets girl
Girl seduces boy with home made strawberry wine and wandering hands.
Boy learns about the joys of squishy things
Girl stabs boy. with scissors.
Boy runs like fuck.
( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:17, archived)

woman in "mad as fuck" shocker

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:15, archived)

Do I detect just a hint of jealousy?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:17, archived)

Have you considered that
I might have DESERVED a good scissoring? Have you?

No. You're right, she was as mad as a bag of badgers.
( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:19, archived)

i don't think you deserve anything.
no... wait.
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:22, archived)

Feminists of the world...
Unite and take over!

Then stamp on Parrott's head.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:22, archived)

I lost my cherry to a drunken Beth Ditto clone in faliraki.
It was the first time I had meet her, and my mates who I was with (there was 20 of us), plus half the hotel, kept on trying to break into my hotel room.

Truefax.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:19, archived)

none of this suprises me.
except the faliraki bit.
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:20, archived)

I even anounced that I popped my cherry on that Club Reps show, and it was aired.
For years it kept on bieng re-shown, and people from the street recongized me quite a few times.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:22, archived)

that is genuinely amazing.
do you have a clip of it?
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:27, archived)

Yeah sounds more like
Failrapei to me.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:25, archived)

you are really just a shambles aren't you

( Barry Chuckle III - the troll with a soul., Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:27, archived)

he's a doctor?

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 18:30, archived)