SHUT UP AND GET BACK ON TO ME.
Tomorrow I am going to the HORSES.

What are your tips?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:21, archived)

never tie your shoelaces in a revolving door

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:22, archived)

or
next time your dog does a 'soft one' on the beach, annoy metal detector owners by dropping nuts and bolts into it and covering it with sand
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:24, archived)

I'm going to put a 1p bet on Sunderland finishing above Newcastle this season

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:23, archived)

I'll HAVE your penny. Tramp sympathiser!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:24, archived)

it very nearly worked last season!

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:25, archived)

They usually finish above once every twenty or so years.
Don't get your hopes up.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:26, archived)

I made my first ever bet on the football this season.
I'm not really a gambler, so it feels quite exciting.
( Druid, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:37, archived)

I'll put 1p on Accrington Stanley finishing above Newcastle this season

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:25, archived)

I just got back from my PLAY
It went down very well.

I'm very pleased, offline.
(__, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:23, archived)

christ, who CARES?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:24, archived)

Fair enough

(__, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:43, archived)

you are so rude..
please don't use that bastards name in vain
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 3 Oct 2008, 1:13, archived)

Find out which horses have completed the highest percentages of races,
put each-way bets on the best three.
( Zuowan, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:25, archived)

Add a drop of lavender to your bath, and soon you'll soak yourself calm.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:27, archived)

If you want to feel calm, eat more raw fruit and vegetables, yoghurt, milk and seeds.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:27, archived)

Win.

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:27, archived)

I'm going to win my millions, then buy you a puppy.
Then as part of my construction company's building developments, I'll reposes your house.
But at least there'll be a puppy.

A puppy.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:28, archived)

ooooh a puppy!

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:31, archived)

*Adds this moment to his science review of girls logic*
Mmhmmmm.. Mmhmmm..

*Writing hat*
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:37, archived)

When you rest, you are a king, surveying your estate. Look at the woodland. The peacocks on the lawn. Be the king of your own calm kingdom.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:27, archived)

When you're feeling under pressure, do something different. Roll up your sleeves, or eat an orange.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:27, archived)

this is not the little book of calm!

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:29, archived)

YES! YES IT IS.
I LOVE THE LITTLE BOOK OF CALM AND YOU GET FIVE POINTS FOR KNOWING WHAT IT IS.
( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:30, archived)

yeah well cr3 quoted ghostbusters up there SO WHAT

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:32, archived)

Ghostbusters was SHIT compared to Black Books

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:33, archived)

( Druid, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:35, archived)

get back in the worm

(Mehitabel_Itrang, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:50, archived)

Put a sprig of mint in your shoe and all day long the minty smell will be your reward

( Theoban What of it, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:29, archived)

Ha ha.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:31, archived)

Put all your money on
JMG The Horse
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:29, archived)

It'll kick all the other horse's heads in.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:38, archived)

If a bull chases you, don't run into a field of cows.
The bull will feel he looks stupid if he stops in front of the ladies, no matter how out of breath he is.
( Druid, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:30, archived)

Hahahaha.

( the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 1:11, archived)

Don't waste money having the tattoo of the name of your ex girlfriend removed by laser
simply get your current girlfriend to change her name by deed poll
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:41, archived)

sod lasers, anyone getting a girlfriend's name tattooed on them should have it removed by taser

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:42, archived)

The Deed Poll website is quite interesting actually
especially the FAQs:

"We will not accept an application for a name that may result in others believing you have a conferred or inherited honour, title, rank or academic award, for example, a change of first name to Sir, Lord, Laird, Lady, Prince, Princess, Baron, Baroness, General, Captain, Professor or Dr etc.

I'd quite like the name Baron Tolley, but I'd have to change my middle name to Von
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:48, archived)

they let me change my middle name to S
this makes me considerably cooler than the average person
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:50, archived)

Gilgasmesh is a rubbish name.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 1:15, archived)

Your name's
Gilgame S. H?
( the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 1:15, archived)

Nobody lends money to a man with a sense of humour.

( Zuowan, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 0:44, archived)