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Much more than I share with the internet.

(, Wed 13 May 2009, 19:44, archived)
How long has b3ta said I'm on the dole, now?
When does your dole get cut off?
Surely by now I'm sans dole, and am quite simply broke?
(, Wed 13 May 2009, 19:45, archived)
HELLO JMG!
You'd never believe this... a GIRL who I'm SEEING has got me DERREN BROWN tickets for my BIRTHDAY.

Theatre Royal! Second row!

I think I'm pretty chuffed
(, Wed 13 May 2009, 19:48, archived)
Bullshit.
You don't have a birthday.
(, Wed 13 May 2009, 19:52, archived)
I am the clone of Wormulus

(, Wed 13 May 2009, 19:52, archived)
his face is so wide he has to blow the candles out across a birthweek or something

(, Wed 13 May 2009, 19:55, archived)
Derren Brown?
sweet
(, Wed 13 May 2009, 19:54, archived)
*Firm handshakes*
Careful. I hear he's a fruit & nut.
(, Wed 13 May 2009, 19:55, archived)
Be careful
he might hypnotise the audience into believing he's done a show, then nip off to the pub for two hours.
You can't be too careful with that sort of tricksy scallywag.
(, Wed 13 May 2009, 20:19, archived)
i think due to the emotional issues you are probably intitled to income support sickness benifits

(, Wed 13 May 2009, 19:54, archived)
Either that
or some sort of grant from HMG to support all the hard work he does to combat obesity.
(, Wed 13 May 2009, 20:21, archived)
maybe he lives of the money he got from the criminal injuries claim he made for being molested

(, Wed 13 May 2009, 20:34, archived)
AHAA! I put it to you Mister Jamuel Masterson Geordie, that you are in fact...
*dramatic pause*
*turns to camera*
NOT DOLE AT ALL!
(, Wed 13 May 2009, 19:45, archived)
HOW VERY DARE YOU!

(, Wed 13 May 2009, 19:46, archived)
Aha!
raisin suspicions, I see...
(, Wed 13 May 2009, 20:21, archived)
I am the exact opposite.
:(
(, Wed 13 May 2009, 19:47, archived)
HO'WAY MAN THE NOO MAN PET!
It's why we're such a force in crime fighting.
(, Wed 13 May 2009, 19:56, archived)