When bone of your leg is sticking out of your thigh, do you
a) stay still and wait for urgent medical attention
b) flail around in agony
c) stand up, run around like a looney, showing everyone how bad your leg is?

Answer is here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIWWYOqG_9s&NR=1

by the way, it's gross.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

I'd tell the internet.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

The internet didn't exist in 1981

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

YOU didn't exist in 1981.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

True facts.
I was born in 1987
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

*87 club five*

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

Bleedin' kids

( broadsword, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

i bet that's like s club seven
you poofs
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

Not even a little bit.
For one thing, no fat chicks.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

Great
I was wanking before you were born.
Still am.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

Didn't that put the doctor off?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

He was at it and all
it was really randy.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

And he still didn't make as much fuss as a modern footballist that has had their hair slightly ruffled

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

Their amazing ponciness is one of the reasons I don't like football
I want to see a real sport with men fighting and touching eachother!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

FRUIT!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

Nah not a fruit.
Just like rugby and judo. Football has always left me cold.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

You like sports that consist almost entirely of grown men fondling each other?
FRUIT!
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

Yep, you guys have sussed me....
/repressedhomoeroticfeelings
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

I bet you love watching UFC as well.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

UFC?
Don't know it.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

Men in little pants cuddling on the floor.
www.findticketsfast.com/img/Boxing/UFC_Tickets.jpg
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

Googled it.
Nope, never really seen why anyone would want to go and kick the shit out of someone as spectacularly as that. Or watch it for that matter.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

PUT ON YOUR DRESSING GOWN AND THROW A BULGARAIN BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

BULGA RAIN
some stay dry and others feel the pain
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

Now that is top banter, right there.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

i try my best, jammers

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

This
Is probably the most accurate description of judo ever!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

MELONS!
i may have misunderstood the rules of this game
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

Ice Hockey
The roid rage is fabulous.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

I have always fancied having a go at Ice Hockey
It is like rugby on ice but with added violence.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

And no rules

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

There are rules
When the referee gets bored of the fight he'll send the players to the naughty corner for not fighting well enough.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

and it was only a yellow card.
and the bloke who did it just looked at the wound and shrugged his shoulders.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

He's taking it quite well, actually.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

Also, this is a much better tackle
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWIUp19bBoA
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

I honestly think he just lost his balance.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

His defence was
'I was trying to head the ball, which I believe is a legal move in football'.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

This is the only thing of note this man has probably ever done.

( Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

Fat fucking imbecile

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

He actually gets the ball.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

Why aren't Michael Jackson's kids black?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

is this the opening line of a joke?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

Was that? LOL IS THIS? L:OL

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

black taken into care
(likeajackhammer, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

cheer up, grumpy

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

*bokes*
I'm loving his mullet though.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

I would poke it back in and then sew the tear with some twine and a huge needle
before going `arrrgggghhh` and killing the baddy in a ironic manner before the credits roll.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

Dunno

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

Christ on a bike!
They don't build palyers like that anymore. Good to see him try to run it off!
( Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

Tis but a scratch!

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

What they don't show is that
they gave his leg a quick rub down with the magic sponge, and he went back on to score a hat-trick.
( Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

Best sports programme ever
www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4fzeK3SQa4&feature=related
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

Compound fracture?
Tie a bow aroudn the sticky end and wait for a passing LAYDEE.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

Haha, what?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

They dig scars, I've heard.
DIG THIS, WOMBY.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

Are you sure?
A womenfolk has never said they like mine.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

I'm one of them innies
and I quite like a good scar.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

Hmm, maybe you are right
Testing this hypothesis would involve speaking to women though.

Edit: I should probably remove the maybe, because you always seem to be right
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

Adrenaline can do funny things.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

apparently it's called "fight or flight"
it makes you think that the best thing to do is run away
(likeajackhammer, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

Or fight

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

Flying Dragon Punch is the order of the day then.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

Clearly

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

So that explains whenever I injure myself I stand up and take off like a seagull...circling playgrounds for chips.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:31, archived)

I can see an ITV2 programme in the making...
Adrenaline Does The Funniest Things...
( Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

It is odd
The couple of times I have hurt myself badly playing sport it hasn't really hurt at all for the first few minutes.

Generally small injuries hurt straight away.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

I push it back in and pour on half a bottle of whisky, drink the other half, stitch it closed with a bootlace and piece of shrapnel

then carry on shooting gerry.
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

gerald is a lovely man and a kind neighbor
you're such a cunt to him
( moohalaa, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:38, archived)