how would one pretend or at least attemp to look sober
when one is actually a bit wobbly......
solutions, internet people! NOW!
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 22 May 2009, 17:43, archived)

no time sorry, no offence
fuck off, bye
( mongychops, Fri 22 May 2009, 17:44, archived)

charming.
fuck yourself up the bum.
No offence.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 22 May 2009, 17:49, archived)

I suggest a course of hardening the fuck up.
Or, rig a breathaliser so when you blow into it with alcohol breath it says you are stone cold sober. Then use this as evidence of your sobriety.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 17:44, archived)

Shut the fuck up, sit down and don't make eye contact.
Pissed people give themselves away by stinking breath and stupid comments.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 17:44, archived)

Stinking breath and stupid comments?
In that case, my housemate is raging alcoholic.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 17:45, archived)

Winner

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 17:46, archived)

+a constant sweaty sheen on their forehead.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 22 May 2009, 17:46, archived)

walk to the corner
face the corner

stay there until sober, ignoring anyone who talks to you in the meantime.
( minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Fri 22 May 2009, 17:45, archived)

Claim to be mentally disabled.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 22 May 2009, 17:45, archived)

stick your head underwater in the sink for 15 minutes

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 22 May 2009, 17:48, archived)

Eat something stodgy.
Drink loads of water or orange juice.

Then once you have achieved sobriety, stop drinking so you never have to worry about faking it again.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 22 May 2009, 17:55, archived)

^
You can also then remember all of the embarrassing things your friends do when they're pissed that they won't remember. Then tell them about it in public.

Edit: Bye bye, Mrs HB, bye bye /talky types. Have lovely extended weekends.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 17:56, archived)

That's evil...
I like it

Bye bye captain, have a fun star trek, picnic, photoshoot filled weekend
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

Thanks, you too.
My son hates me doing this. This makes me do it more.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 22 May 2009, 18:02, archived)

If you're in a position
to be constantly leaning against something without appearing suspicious, that'd be a great start.
(Sparkytus is obviously not a golfer, Fri 22 May 2009, 20:32, archived)