Head messages
are severely under prescibed.

Not yet known a lady that doesn't dig the head massage!


don't know many ladies...
(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Sat 23 May 2009, 22:45, archived)

head massages are a godsend.

maybe you need to go out and meet some then?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 23 May 2009, 22:48, archived)

They're actually a banana send, well, at least when I give them.
Nah, I know enough, really... it's just they keep on ending up in the giant freezer in the cellar
(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Sat 23 May 2009, 22:50, archived)

ohh right.
So - Steak at yours next saturday then??
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 23 May 2009, 22:57, archived)

Leg or breast?

(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Sat 23 May 2009, 22:58, archived)

Not sure.
you pick - I'm a vegetarian - this is my first time eating meat in a long while (fnarr)
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:06, archived)

You want to eat my pik?
Well, I can't really blame you.

(May help if you know some Dutch)
(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:24, archived)

The only Dutch I know is from watching illegal videos in the 1980s
"Neuk mij"

Whatever that means.
( Lord Gnome, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

It's also how I learned German.
"Ich will dich in den Arsch fricken" has got me more places than I could ever have imagined.
( Lord Gnome, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:28, archived)

The Blue Oyster bar?

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

Fuck me. Or 'screw me' which is more literal I think

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:40, archived)

I know a very very little
I get by with translators (have family).

Aye I'll eat your pik - as long as it's not the third leg.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

eleventh finger, maybe?

(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:47, archived)

too small to be a finger
looks more like a pinky toe.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:50, archived)

It's not my fault
mummy took thalidomide.



You're mean to me!
(Thalidomide for the fingers, the cock just happens to be tiny, too)
(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:58, archived)

I figured.
And no I'm not. I never said it was *yours*.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 24 May 2009, 0:03, archived)

Is there something you'd like to tell the internet now?
"Miss" Cat?
(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Sun 24 May 2009, 0:05, archived)

nae
I just assumed you were getting the meat from your freezer is all.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 24 May 2009, 0:11, archived)

oh, but that's only girls!
I thought you wanted my pik... :(

What I do is I knock 'em off, stick 'em in the freezer, wait 3-36 months, then I take them out and put them in a nice room temperature room to thaw out before burying them in a shallow grave somewhere in the forest, thus throwing the forensics out by a year or two.

The most stressful part of the thawing stage, when I take them to the freezer I'm still pumped, but the thawing and burying is when I get most scared about being found out...

Actually, reminds me of a story. Some man saw a dead dog on the road, so he took it, put it in the freezer, took out a pet insurance policy on the dog then took the cadaver to the vet. The silly fool didn't let it defrost fully, though, so he was uncovered. But really, who sees a dead dog and thinks insurance fraud?
(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Sun 24 May 2009, 0:16, archived)

.....
I'm lost for words.

/facepalms.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 24 May 2009, 0:27, archived)

I know!
The dog was just lying by the side of the road and everything!
(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Sun 24 May 2009, 0:31, archived)