I've just bought one of those chips for your car that promises to boost the engine power and stuff
What career would YOU be on a council-estate based soap opera?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 May 2009, 17:43, archived)

I'd stack shelves in the local Spar

( minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Wed 27 May 2009, 17:44, archived)

Godfather.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 27 May 2009, 17:44, archived)

I'd go round sortin' out stuff wiv Grant.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 17:46, archived)

Just you remember exactly who's in charge here.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 27 May 2009, 17:47, archived)

This is my manor sanshine. Got it?
*puts away shootah"
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 17:48, archived)

*Shoots kneecaps*
Fucking kids. All fucking mouth. No fucking repect.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 27 May 2009, 17:52, archived)

go reach
sortin' out stuff
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

I'd work in the Rover's Return, naturally.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 27 May 2009, 17:47, archived)

dunno, some kind of council estate-based sarcastic superhero

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 17:47, archived)

Fag-smoking pucker-mouthed bitch with cheap jewellery

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 May 2009, 17:54, archived)

that's not going to save the estate from the hordes of invading zombie chihuahuas

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:01, archived)

How do those chips work ?
Variable engine mapping or 20 mins in deep fat fryer ?
(Kebabo Calling all cars, Wed 27 May 2009, 17:48, archived)

Improved map
and 20% fewer saturated fats
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 May 2009, 17:54, archived)

Madam.
I'd not mind being a madam IRL as long as it was one of those legal ranches in Nevada or something.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 17:49, archived)

Only if I can be Dolly Parton in 'The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas'.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 27 May 2009, 17:55, archived)

You most certainly can!

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 17:56, archived)

I'd be the hilariously misunderstood young person.
I'd be stereotyped to hell, whilst not actually representing young people in any way. I'd also not have a job, yet still be able to afford to change my style (and entire wardrobe) about once a month.
( WHARRGARBL, Wed 27 May 2009, 17:49, archived)

I'd just like to be the Tramp on the Bench please.
I love Special Brew, me.
( thealternativefact, Wed 27 May 2009, 17:51, archived)

There's a new tramp fuel in town
which comes in a green plastic bottle shaped like it should contain cognac, only it contains some 10% lager simply called STRONG.

The communal area of my estate appears to have sprouted green plastic mushrooms.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 May 2009, 17:55, archived)

I'd be the owner of the local nightclub

( SuperMatt, Wed 27 May 2009, 17:55, archived)

But it'd change hands after 3 episodes

( SuperMatt, Wed 27 May 2009, 17:55, archived)

night youth
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

The slapper who all the guys sleep wiv innit

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 17:58, archived)

FACKIN' LEAVE IT MICK! HE AIN'T WORTH eeIT!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

I'd be the one to score prescription drugs from.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 27 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

The chemist?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:00, archived)

I'd be the old paedophile who keeps hawks

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:04, archived)

I'd be the man who can only see clowns and walks on his hands when doing plopsies.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:04, archived)

career is a dirty word to me

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

It's a soap opera. You can be anything you want.
Go on, choose something.

Can I change my answer to astronaut?
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 27 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

ok as long as the scriptwriters promise never to promote me or anything.
hmm I don't know what I want. I don't want anything. Whatever.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:13, archived)

Is this because you're Biff Tannen
and you keep careering into piles of manure?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:15, archived)

I've no idea what that means.
Mykeyboy will now make some comment about people who don't have a telly going on about it all the time.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:16, archived)

I've no idea what that means.
Mykeyboy will now make some comment about people who don't have a telly going on about it all the time. Moongirl does not understand your popular culture reference
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:17, archived)

Yes, that.
Thank you.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:17, archived)

You're like Bones.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:18, archived)

Them dry bones.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:19, archived)

Fat, unemployed, bald geordie.
I'd probably say i'm internet famous alot.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Wed 27 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

Chippy/Kebab/pizza shop owner.
Or the friendly policeman who everyone respects.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

Chippy/Kebab/pizza shop owner.
Or the friendly policeman who everyone respects Toadfish
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:16, archived)

Chippy/Kebab/pizza shop owner.
Or the friendly policeman who everyone respects Toadfish Guffbeak
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:16, archived)

:(

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:26, archived)

I'd be the vomit on the flat part of the slide at the bottom

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

Mike.
The rapist.
( magnum, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:11, archived)

You're going to have to somehow outshine Dave the Rapist or your contract isn't going to be renewed.
How are you going to do it, quantity or quality?
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 27 May 2009, 18:12, archived)

I'd like to think that one of my victim's brothers find out it was me and we have a big show down by the power station
possibly with some sort of car chase and maybe with a fight scene.
( magnum, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:18, archived)

I'd be Killbot
I'd work behind a bar and when a slightly heated argument broke out over an ex boyfriend I WOULD OBLITERATE ALL HUMANS!
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:16, archived)

I'd have to be the gossip loving hairdresser

( Mrs Sp@m, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:25, archived)

Container driver.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:29, archived)

Containers don't have wheels.

( magnum, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:31, archived)

No, that's why they're loaded onto articulated vehicles.
For those with b3tan intelligence: these DO have wheels.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:34, archived)

So you're a lorry driver then?

( magnum, Wed 27 May 2009, 18:34, archived)