Lilly Allen's bottom with my hand and dinkle

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:30, archived)

that is something
I would pay to see
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

I'd paw at her fanny like Winnie Pooh with a fresh pot of honey

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)

And your hand would end up just as sticky

( SuperMatt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)

Oh, I'd properly boot her back doors in, DG.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

Kick in the brown door
Paint it white on the way out

/Nathan Barley
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

I want to cut her a new fringe and then fishhook her
little bloody sauce pot, ah fuck this I'm going out tonight to the clubs in Soho and find her. Maybe the Punchbowl and flirt with Saddie Frost like last time.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

Saddie Frost?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 18:52, archived)

YES!

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

is she singing about you then ?

( turb0t, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

Yup. The Fear, she saw my broom and it gave her a right Oven Mitt-On
She sings about you in the Country n Western sounding one...
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

She makes pretty good songs,
but "It's not fair / I think you're really mean / I think you're really mean / I think you're really mean" has to be the most wussy chorus to any song in history.

True, she's hardly going to write something like "You're a fat spastic cunt / I'm gonna kick your arse from here to the moon", but still.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

I'd made her squeal like a helium filled crow

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)

She has got a nice bum
but I couldn't put up with her talkin' like fis all da time, givin' me no respec
( magnum, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

It's an act
she's posher than tara-palmtree-cockweasel.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

She's got a nice bum as well
I saw a video of her naked on a sofa and could see it. She's got tiny breasts as well.
( magnum, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

It's alright, I'll give er a prop-pa cock knee educatshun innit

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)