What would you utterly destroy?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)

Toyko, Godzilla-style.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)

oh that would make for an ace playset.
a dinosaur costume and loads of building blocks.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:30, archived)

I could put you on Sexface's Warhammer table, I think I would instantly win with you as one of my toys.
Unless you forget to put on shoes, those buggers hurt when you tread on them.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

Rubberduckzilla!

( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)

Lilly Allen's bottom with my hand and dinkle

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:30, archived)

that is something
I would pay to see
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

I'd paw at her fanny like Winnie Pooh with a fresh pot of honey

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)

And your hand would end up just as sticky

( SuperMatt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)

Oh, I'd properly boot her back doors in, DG.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

Kick in the brown door
Paint it white on the way out

/Nathan Barley
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

I want to cut her a new fringe and then fishhook her
little bloody sauce pot, ah fuck this I'm going out tonight to the clubs in Soho and find her. Maybe the Punchbowl and flirt with Saddie Frost like last time.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

Saddie Frost?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 18:52, archived)

YES!

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

is she singing about you then ?

( turb0t, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

Yup. The Fear, she saw my broom and it gave her a right Oven Mitt-On
She sings about you in the Country n Western sounding one...
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

She makes pretty good songs,
but "It's not fair / I think you're really mean / I think you're really mean / I think you're really mean" has to be the most wussy chorus to any song in history.

True, she's hardly going to write something like "You're a fat spastic cunt / I'm gonna kick your arse from here to the moon", but still.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

I'd made her squeal like a helium filled crow

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)

She has got a nice bum
but I couldn't put up with her talkin' like fis all da time, givin' me no respec
( magnum, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

It's an act
she's posher than tara-palmtree-cockweasel.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

She's got a nice bum as well
I saw a video of her naked on a sofa and could see it. She's got tiny breasts as well.
( magnum, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

It's alright, I'll give er a prop-pa cock knee educatshun innit

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

the big brother house
with davina and all the contestants still inside
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:30, archived)

When all the contestants are in
the false walls fall down and its actually a concentration camp!
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

I'm already readying to purge the world of you human parasites
I will climb to the top of the highest mountain, and there I will open my bowels upon its lofty heights, summoning forth the demon known only as Angh'ra'gath. He will enter my body, twisting and perverting it beyond all human ken, cracking and distorting my bones until I emerge from the process many days later as a Dark God. I will stride forth and clear the world of your pestilent scum.

That and Doncaster.
( Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

I just don't think I'm that hateful.

( ArthurTheRat, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

You can do it as dispassionately as you wish.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

You don't have to hate something to want to destroy it

( Cae1, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)

DESTROY HATE

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:42, archived)

out of date technologies that companies keep insisting on using
that make my job harder
( minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

people whose genitals are shaped like monkeys

out of petty jealousy
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

I'm waiting for the first bit of burnt toast to look like Susan Byle to crop up on ebay as we speak

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)

I'm waiting for the Hollie Steel crumpet

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)

and the Diversity battenburg

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

Democracy with my hammer & sickle.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

Skegness.

( Cae1, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

at least move the beach a few miles closer to the sea.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)

I'ld udderly distroy cows.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)

Condensed matter physics.
I'd break it good.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:36, archived)

I like campbell's condensed soups uncondensed

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

Sour faced bints that glare at me for no particular reason.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

that's the mirror.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

Really not, I've got lallies.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

that word means nothing to me.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

Tits. Hooters. Breasts. Shirt potatoes.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

On your face?

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:42, archived)

Is that where Mrs Neptune keeps hers?
Oh I get it AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yeah I'm not pretty move on.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

That's why I didn't understand what she meant.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

I'm glad it's not just me.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)

I've reread everything I've said and it makes sense.
Unless you two never see anything below your necks in a mirror.

Never fucking mind, eh?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)

I'll highlight my problem shall I?
You: "Sour faced bints"
Me: "that's the mirror"
You: "Really not, I've got lallies"
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)

I'm not the sour faced bint in question
because I have, amongst other things she regrettably doesn't, tits.

Bints extend lower than their faces.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:50, archived)

I think we're on a hiding to nothing with this one.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:50, archived)

I thought she meant she isn't the Sour faced bint she has in mind, because the sour faced bint has tiny tits.
or something like that.

I don't know, I'm just agreeing with her becuase she's a girl.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)

Well at least you got it, Gonz.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)

*stares at your nice bewbies*

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

That's taking it a bit far
but cheers.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

Meh, at least I'm honest and knew what you were talking about
*pulls a lemon sucking face*
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)

:D you're not a pillock, that's why.
Lovely, lovely DG.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)

Ohh, I was right, fair enough.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)

I know what you meant,
but that's nothing to do with what you said.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:54, archived)

I'd just like to say here that I've not been paying attention to this sub thread
But I'm going to glare very sternly at you all.
( Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)

Don't you glare sternly at me
just because Rain Man and Captain Bumsexy have decided they want a go.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:58, archived)

It's the fight JMG was hoping for
But he's not here to see it. Oh online tragedy.
( Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:59, archived)

This is hardly a fight
This is two boyos having a brainmelt and me being incredulous.


edit: anyway, I've got to go- bye all.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 18:00, archived)

I can already see we're in for a thought-provoking, margin-brushing exercise in petty pedantry!

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

Pick a side you cunt.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:54, archived)

You know someone with their sour face below their neck?
Crikey.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:50, archived)

Just because someone only mentioned a person's face,
that doesn't mean they don't have anything other than a face. FFS.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)

I don't think these two have much experience of women below the face, TBH.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)

Well, I'm gay and he's shit.
So, no.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

I should hope so, being as girlretarded as that.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:54, archived)

:(
I've had sex with an integer amount of ladies.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)

After all this I refuse to believe that.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)

At least claim a natural number of lays and then we can debate whether 0 is a natural number.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)

MoT explains it better than me.
b3ta.com/talk/6199203
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

My reply just there adequately responds to that as well.
I'd expect anyone not autistic to imagine a person with a face, when a face is mentioned, not an entirely disembodied face.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:54, archived)

Being sour faced and having horrible/tiny tits are independent statements.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)

yes, they are.
and she made both of them. what?
She might not have mentioned the tits in the first statement, but that doesn't mean they weren't there.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)

I think you should draw a venn diagram.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)

Yes, but having and not having breasts is a way of distinguishing between people.
Hence, seeing that the sour faced bint has no tits whereas you do, means you know the bint is not you.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)

YES THIS

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:58, archived)

That's more for the side of 'how do you not get this?'
which is good, I thought I was going a bit mad.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:59, archived)

Her first post didn't mention the tits.
Therefore saying "No, I've got lallies" does not refute the original claim.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:59, archived)

Well personally, I'm just enjoying the fact we're all talking about Captain Wow's tits here

( Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 18:00, archived)

Yes it does, if the sour faced bint originally mentioned doesn't have tits.
Admittedly, it doesn't prove whether Wow is or is not a sour faced bint, but that's not what's apparently an issue here, it's whether she was the sour faced bint that she saw.
I love pointless arguments.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 18:01, archived)

Original statement "Sour faced bints that glare at me for no particular reason."
No tits were mentioned.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 18:02, archived)

She didn't have to mention that to use it as an observation later.
Or do you always begin a conversation by stating all the facts which might conceivably be referred to later on?
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 18:03, archived)

I keep a minutes for every social encounter I have.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 18:06, archived)

It refutes the claim "that's the mirror"
because the person in the mirror would have tits, because she has tits.

The argument runs thus:
1. observation: person looks at me who possesses property "sour-faced"
2. hypothesis: person is my reflection
3. observation: I have tits, but person has no tits
4. therefore: person is not my reflection
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 18:01, archived)

Oh for fuck sake mate, let it go, it doesn't fucking matter!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 18:01, archived)

I know it doesn't matter.
nothing on b3ta matters though, so why stop doing something that doesn't matter?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 18:03, archived)

Quiet now.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 18:03, archived)

Click hide/ignore.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 18:05, archived)

I thought you'd be with us, Woodside, I really did.
I'm so disappointed.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 18:06, archived)

It's very hard to pick sides
when you're struggling to stay awakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 18:07, archived)

westboro baptist church
I'd like to torture Fred Phelps, too. Cut off his eyelids while he's taped and cuffed to a chair and leave him for a few hours.

Then go back and heat up nails with a blowtorch and tap them into him until he dies of bloodloss or shock or something.
( moohalaa, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

but I'm lovely really! I've been outside watering my flowers and that.

( moohalaa, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)

Poof.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)

I'd like to induce in him some sort of near-death-experience just before he drifts away,
and make sure he gets the impression he's the one going to hell.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

Just because you're going to hell

( Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

*bums with reckless abandon*

( moohalaa, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)

Nah', they're cunts, but essenchaly harmless.
They ruin most anti-[all the thing's their against] arguments by being so over-the-top.

I'ld rather go against the likes of skinheads, who actually phsyacly hurt people.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)

I think protesting funerals and roping children into their work both count as a little beyond harmless.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)

The thing they do with children is very damaging.
But the protests, at least now, aren't as bad, because i'ld be proud to be something they hate.

If that makes any sense, I donno.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

Bruce Springteen, Prince, Michael Jackson, Stevie Nicks, REO Speedwagon.....

( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)

I'd like to give the person(s) in charge of programming at Galaxy FM a stern talking-to.
Agenda item one: play more than six songs, or else.
Agenda item two: if this is not possible, rename the station to Here's Ma Key Philosophy FM.

Actually, I'd like to amend my answer to "MoT's fingers".
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)

A nun's virginity

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 18:03, archived)