The word barbecue was given to the English language by a wonderful real life pirate; William Dampier.
He was also the first Englishman to set foot on Australia. Captain Cook, in fact, used William Dampier's best selling guide books to get him there.
Fantastic bloke. About 1000 words are said to have been given to the English language by him. Other examples are avacado and chopstick.
Who is your favourite real life pirate and why?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:10, archived)

Hang on... no... I've got a better idea...
I AM SO HUNG OVER WHAT HANGOVER CURE PRONOUNCES SCONE THAT AEROPLANE FOOD EH
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

It's ok, I'm over it now.
Thanks for your concern.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:16, archived)

Again, not a personal thing.
I'm sure you are very person in person.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)

You'd be wrong.
My internet persona is less cuntish than the real me.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:21, archived)

Your internet persona doesn't desperately need a haircut, you fucking hippy.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:24, archived)

i can vouch for this.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:26, archived)

it is quite a wide margin also.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:26, archived)

what size buttplug did you use?

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:31, archived)

Mammoth.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:36, archived)

You're a wide margin.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:32, archived)

i'd put marg in.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:35, archived)

Ooh, I forgot to say thanks for the rose scented pig :D.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:25, archived)

You.
You're in my clique.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

YES!
I was in all the cliques once. Then the shit people came.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

I think our clique currently has mainly men in.
We should all wear smoking jackets and puff pipes.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

No.
I'll only hold a real man's pipe.

HAHAHAHAHAH
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:14, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAH
OHH Baldmonkey!
There's yet to be a day you haven't brightened with your smile.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:16, archived)

*coughs*

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)

*cups*

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)

*sidesteps away*

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

*squeezes*

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:24, archived)

*irked*

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:26, archived)

*gooses*

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:21, archived)

There's absolutely fuck all on iPlayer at the moment
and I've packed all my DVDs and stuff up.

I'M SO FUCKING BORED.

I'll repeat this over and over if I have to.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

Good man.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

the ts eliot is ok
but full of annoying bumpf
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)

TS eliot was ruined for me by A level english literature.
Watching a program on him is my idea of hell
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:18, archived)

ok.. thee's another poet program by that webb fella comedian
starts off with 'Alfred Prufrock' but goes all over the place poetry wise
failing that the 'South Pacific' series is ok
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)

a gourd.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

Stop ruining all my hard work, you twat.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

*points at the not-wanker*
*makes not-wanker motion*
*relishes the derision you receive from your peers*
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

You're the best b3tan ever, and are in no way shit OR mentally ill.
Nor do you have cat legs.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)

Aw... gee... thanks...
*huggles*
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

I also love your podcasts, and would like you to continue making them until the end of time.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:21, archived)

Hang on...

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:24, archived)

I also think that your general creative talent is unparallelled,
and personally feel that you do not contribute nearly enough works of MS paint to the internet.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:25, archived)

:(

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)

IT'S NOT NICE, IS IT, CATLEGS?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:32, archived)

BRAYNDEDD IS NOT A MARMITE SANDWICH.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:34, archived)

That's better.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:35, archived)

BUT HE IS A WANKER.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:36, archived)

Hurrah!

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:38, archived)

LIFEPWN!

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:40, archived)

guybrush threepwood

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

One of those Somali bastards.
Real pirates have RPG's.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

Captain Cook was born in Middlesbrough
FACT.
( thiswasmyclone, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:14, archived)

Actually, he was half born in Middlesbrough and half born in Hampshire due to travel.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:14, archived)

FALLACY
hang your head in shame.
( thiswasmyclone, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

And his head was originally a basketball.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:16, archived)

Court.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:16, archived)

Magistrates actually.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)

I had a good day today.
Car rally then Barbecue at my folks. It was aces.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:14, archived)

Car rally. That was another one he coined.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

VINTAGE car rally at that.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:16, archived)

that's interesting. i didn't realise that Alexander Selkirk was one of Dampier's crew.
i recommend Daniel Defoe's 'King Of Pirates', which is pretty much the original pirate novel.
( scott,, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

Neither did I.
I haven't got that far into Horribly Famous Pirates And Their Carribbean Capers by Michael Cox illustrated by Clive Goddard.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:18, archived)

Bluebeard
because he had a motherfucking blue beard
( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)

There was never any pirate in reality or literature called blue beard.
You spazzing div wang.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:23, archived)

he was Blackbeard's punk brother

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:27, archived)

He was an unpleasant villain in a French fairy tale.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)

the fucking french

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:31, archived)

There was a French market in Chichester today.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:34, archived)

There was a French market in Cwmbran, last week.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:43, archived)

Nick Griffin doesn't like people being racist to him
Wait, what?
(__, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)

He's not very bright.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

GOD'S OWN COUNTY.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:23, archived)

non-whites can be racist too

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:25, archived)

Yes I am well aware of that.
It's the fact that Nick Griffin, a well-known, well-documented racist cunt, doesn't like it when people are racist towards him which marks him out as a massive thickie.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:27, archived)

i don't think it is that which marks out his thickery first.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:29, archived)

racist in limited intelligence shocker

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)

hehe

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:43, archived)

I didn't even pretend to understand that comment in his interview.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:23, archived)