I think my girlfriend would leave me if I attended a bash.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)

then don't tell her
lying in a relationship is very important. also, you should go to the hood butter one and bring your beak
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)

I could so easily tell I was just visiting friends.
Sorted.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

Fair enough.
So if we come to Brighton, we'll not be seeing you then, eh?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 16:22, archived)

That's different
I'd be on my todd though.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

Mine just took the piss.
Rightly so.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 16:22, archived)

Really?!
Why?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

because she'd think I'm a massive loser,
I can't have her finding out the truth now can I?
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

Vomit on her, then tell her.
Or hit her first. Anything that makes it look good by comparison.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)

I've been treating her with love and respect,
that was my first mistake!
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

The fuck did you do that for?
She'll only go and get used to it.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

World's worst boyfriend right here.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

You utter cunt.
Next you'll say you buy her little treats and feed her. You make me sick.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

Kind of the other way round as she's the one with the money,
I just have to buy her cheaper yet more thoughtful things.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 17:04, archived)

You're going to have to accidentally on purpose
elbow her in the eye just to balance things out.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 17:05, archived)

Sometimes I push her out of bed when she's asleep and pretend that she must have rolled out on her own.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 17:12, archived)

I'm so proud I could wet myself.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 17:13, archived)