New thread.
Tell me an anecdote that you have to tell at dinner parties.

If you don't want to do that, then tell me an anecdote that you have to tell at dinner parties.

I will accept anecdotes to tell at the pub as an acceptable substitute.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

I got drunk once and ended up in a barmitzva
my friends found me smoking cigars with the father out the front wearing a skull cap thing.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

I've never been to a dinner party
Why won't you people invite me? :(

I intend to host a dinner party soon, actually, I'll just have to buy a table a chairs first though...
( SuperMatt, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

I have people round for dinner about once a week,
don't call it a dinner party though that's pretentious.
They can also get to fuck if they expect a desert.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

They should bring one
we are in a recession, after all.
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

I've never felt compelled to tell any particular one.
I've got a few funny stories, but none of them centre around myself.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

not that you have to tell,
that you have, to tell.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

I once signed up to a pie eating contest,
and all the other contestants backed out.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

What if your social circle doesn't hold dinner-parties?
Is the pub an acceptable substitute?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

yes

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

I just listen to and judge everyone elses.
The operative word is DINNER. If they're talking, they're not eating, leaving more food for ME. I win at dinner.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

I imagine you eat much like John Goodman in the family guy skit.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

I don't let the other people in the room
that was his mistake.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

Never mind Family Guy
I was thinking of his performance in Oh Brother Where Art Thou?
( Lord Gnome, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

I remember one time when drunk at a friends family party, I convinced myself that I could speak sign language
There was this deaf kid there by himself in a wheel chair so I went over to him to cheer him up and and spinned him around in his wheel chair.

I felt really bad when I found out in the morning that he was deaf and blind and I was jamming my hands at his face for half an hour, thinking I was being a nice person. He was smiling and laughing because he knew no better, he couldn't see of hear me, not because of what I though I was doing i.e. shadow puppets with my hands to his face.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

I spat in your wine!

(likeajackhammer, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

…and then I turned her round and gave her a pearl necklace instead.

( Lord Gnome, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

...a lovely pair of birds if a little tough.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)