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Listen up, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, and don't shoot the messenger here.
But I just got a "Short Message Service" from someone you all know, she goes by the name on here as "Rosalicous".

She has a packet of Fruit Salad Chews, to herself.

She's quite proud of this fact, but is to modest to mention it, but please can you all congratulate her next time you see her "post" a "thread" on here.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)
yeah, alright

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)
Oh and she sent me a picture of a packet of biscuits once
Does this count for anything?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)
ive never loved you

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)
You heartless witch!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)
FRUIT SALAD
FRUIT SALAD
FRUIT SALAD
FRUIT SALAD
FRUIT SALAD
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)
two words likely to strike fear into the hearts of all internerds

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)
Gays and Greens? Oh my!

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)
oH NOYWWOM NYOM NYOM YNOYNHOMYN YNOYMN NYOMORFSOM<L"M!!!

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)
Did you set her up with Irish yet?

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)
I dont think Esme swings that way

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)
She will when she's suspended from the ceiling.

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)
Blame Mykey
I wasn't even talking about you.
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)
I know.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)
Is this some sort of threat?
Are you, as we speak, plotting to hang Esme from the ceiling to make it look like a suicide?

Perhaps leaving a noit?
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)
fucking hell

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)
:D

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)
I've always though 'Noit' sounds like an Irish saying 'knot'

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)
Only if you're from Nordie land.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)
It does sound like someone from the North saying 'night'.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)
is that where big ears comes from?

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)
I've always said it as noy-it.
Let's just agree that it was a shit joke.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)
Indeed, let's draw the line here. -----------------------------------------------------
Your randomburn is in the post btw.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)
where's mine?

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)
You're not on my list!

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)
are you suuuure?
think about it
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)
....
Oh I see ;) *wink wink wink*

Nah, just checked. you weren't on there.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)
BUT I WANT MOAR RANDOMBURNS
i've only had 2 so far and i sent 10
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)
I hope I don't have to pay to collect it.
Only some sort of cunt would make someone do that.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)
I handmade them all and refused to use a computer for any of them
Burning the CD was a nightmare.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)
You must have steady hands.
Steady, strong hands.... ¦;¬D
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)
I hummed all the tunes at the CD, HARD.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)
RARGH

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)
I reckon they would make a fetching couple.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

t l
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)
What's the mess doing now that setanta has closed down?

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)
I don't think he was ever watching setanta, he was just starring at the telly and that happened to be on.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)
I get she's got them all in her mouth

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)
No DG
chews not jews.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)
no lumping.

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)
Fruit Salad Chews are a bit rubbish

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)
I'm not congratulating her for selfishness.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)
cunt

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)
FRUIT SALAD
FRUIT SALAD
FRUIT SALAD
FRUIT SALAD
FRUIT SALAD
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)
you get nowt

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)
thats nice that is
so much for a caring sharing world!
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)
Have you banged them all in your mouth and is a little bit of dribble coming out?

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)
i rolled them all together like a fucking football

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)
I'm choosing to read this out of context

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)
CONGRATUFUCKINGLATIONS

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)
THANKSAFUCKINGBUNCH

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)
YOU'RE WELFUCKINGCOME

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)
Ohh, THERE YOUS ARE !
I hear congratulations are in order !
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)
im not pregnant im just morbidly obese

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)
Could be worst, could be both.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)
push push I can see the crown push push
yes, you have now given birth to a 10lb roast chicken!
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)
Hmm tasty

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)
Don't talk with your mouth full!

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)
gnug sh shhh shorry dad isk
*gnok gnok gnok*
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)
Flash us yer sweets

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)
ram it up your cock

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)
I've hidden a blackjack in there.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)
up my bits?
:\
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)
I was going to say 'not up there' but yeah
not like you'd notice eh?
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)
Blackjacks are better

(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)
Fail.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)
^

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)