Impress me.......
GO!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 13:56, archived)

The US army only has 2 strategies:
1) Send wave after wave of men to their deaths.
2) The JMG way, which is basically 1) but faster
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 13:58, archived)

Also, more headlocks.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 13:59, archived)

I've never seen Coronation Street, Eastenders or Emmerdale

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 13:58, archived)

Excellent work!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 13:59, archived)

...seperately.
I've heard about your three tv viewpod
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:01, archived)

Shut up you big bald doley child.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 13:59, archived)

No. Impress ME not the women.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)

Shitcunt.

( Jobe, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 13:59, archived)

I fully expect to see that in the next edition of the Oxford English Dictionary

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)

Well, it's a start.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)

I can do this:
*does Armpit fart that sounds like Louis Armstrong and gurns like a happy Bruce Springsteen*
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 13:59, archived)

I demand we send this to the QUEEN.
By Queen I quite clearly mean Moohalaa and other homophobic remarks.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)

*licks envelope furiously*

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:06, archived)

I broke my own personal fitness record last night
240 press ups 6 sets of 40
Free weight session using 2*25kg dumbbells
Followed by a 20 mile bike ride

How do you like those apples?
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)

*Standing ovation*
NOBODY on here will like you if you are fit.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:02, archived)

I think you're queer and over-compensating

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:02, archived)

I drink and smoke too much
Have to have a balance
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:04, archived)

*says no to cake*

( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)

*National Anthem*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:02, archived)

I'm number 1 JMG.
I put this success down to you of course.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)

I'm much better than most teachers.
And that lad with the afro who used to do paintings on the Discovery Channel.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:02, archived)

I've never seen any of the Alien films.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)

Same here.
Teamwork.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:03, archived)

see this gazelle,
I snap these bits here and here, and bend this and I have a tasteful onepiece suit
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)

Ahhh.. LOVELY!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:03, archived)

I have the same surname as a James Bond villian

(thediscokingpin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:00, archived)

This IS good bar banter.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:03, archived)

I've added it to my profile
I think it will bring in the unsolicited sexy GAZs
(thediscokingpin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:08, archived)

Blofeld?

( lion-cake Bad lion-cake, bad., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:14, archived)

JMG ON TITS

( SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:01, archived)

WINNER!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:04, archived)

I had my appraisal yesterday
they think I'm fucking GREAT, JMG.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:07, archived)

*rolls up sleeves*
*flexes*
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:07, archived)

*gazes through magnifying glass*
Nope.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:10, archived)

He said rolls up sleeve
Not, drops pants
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 14:11, archived)