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MISERIES!
*JMG Intro Music*

I've had my hair cut as I'm at a WEDDING tomorrow.
Another insight for those currently sweating under the moob.


Inform me of some of your offline tedium. JMG has a strict "doesn't have to care" stance.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:03, archived)
For those who've enquired about the video ever since I started posting it.
The answer to the most commonly asked question: SexFace and 90nz0.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:04, archived)
I've got the day off, currently.
I'm going to watch Bruno tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:04, archived)
Good luck with this.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:05, archived)
I'm watching that tomorrow.
i'm looking forward to OVERPRICED POPCORN and OVERPRICED COCA COLA.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:09, archived)
I had OVERPRICED NACHOES last week when I went to watch Public Enemies.
The melted cheese went lumpy and cold after ten minutes.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:11, archived)
I just can't wait to pay £4 for a bag of revels.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:12, archived)
I spent some time today checking names on a list and checking security badges
I will do this again this afternoon at 4.

How about that for offline tedium
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:04, archived)
Are you now in COUNTER-TERRORISM?

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:05, archived)
I had to stop EVIL PEOPLE from trying to get into our customer service internal awards ceremony
No I don't know why anyone would care about getting in either.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)
If there isn't a FATWA initiated against your bosses, I really wouldn't bother.
It's been a while since Baldmonkey called a good fatwa on some of you people.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:10, archived)
He's been shit on the fatwa front recently
Rubbish there
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:12, archived)
I'm running a level four consistency check on the new systems archive through this server here *taps*
and I'm writing notes on what I want the upgrade to be next week on pink post it notes in the shape of hearts.

I've gone a bit trigger happy with highlighters recently so my workspace is a bit garish.
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:04, archived)
How long can you make it through the day without having to listen to Boy George, Wham! or similar?
I can only imagine it's a terrible illness that requires you to listen to FRUITERY every so often.
I really should present my findings to the British Health Foundation.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)
My eyes hurt
the call center person that sits closest to me if off today so I am suffering from 7% less babble
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:05, archived)
...Hair?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:05, archived)
It's his single whisp that he combs over

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)
I see you two are bonding!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:08, archived)
Unlike my hairHAHAHAAA!
Best friends.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:08, archived)
in a few minutes I'm collecting
a different pair of contact lenses for me to trial, as the first lot of acuview lenses were not good for my eyes.
(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)
My boss just split up from her boyfriend of 10 years
the atmosphere is a bit damp and tense.

Tonight I'm off to an auction to try and buy a leather lazyboy for £60.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:07, archived)
Steal the little hammer and make up your own bidding rules.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:09, archived)
YES!

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:31, archived)
I wish you the best of luck in your reclining endeavours.

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:09, archived)
I'm wearing quite a dashing polo shirt.
It's orange, gasp.
Orange actually works quite well on gingers.
(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:08, archived)
RED ON RED FASHION CRIME!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:11, archived)
*calls the fashion police*
*reports a B-class colour clash*
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:11, archived)
Shush.

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:15, archived)
I'm wearing high heels and fishnet tights.
It's driving the guys wild with my sensual stride.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:09, archived)
Has Wormulus got a small cock?
Ohh Wormulus.

:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:11, archived)
I'd much prefer to think that he does, in fact, have a large nob.
If you get my drift.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:15, archived)
I went to the gym last night
There were lots of ladies there, blocking the equipment while waiting for their fitness class because they insist on turning up 30 minutes early.
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:09, archived)
Should have thrown a cake into their locker room, they'd have all hurried on in there.
Followed by a grenade. Oh yes.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:12, archived)
A wedding on a Friday.
I'm turning into my mother. I've instantly formed an opinion that this is a cheap wedding.

Sorry JMG. I am sure I will be back to normal soon :)
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:09, archived)
IT'S NOT MY WEDDING THERE PET.
Don't you worry.

I plan to dazzle and delight, regardless of expenditure.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:13, archived)
It's so it doesn't interfere with the footy on Saturday
The groom will be wearing a freshly laundered Newcastle shirt.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:13, archived)
I co-mediated a dispute on Tuesday
It didn't settle but was very interesting.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:09, archived)
Headlocks and Drop-Kicks.
Always work the neck, in these situations.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:13, archived)
As it turned out
that would have been more effective.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:15, archived)
i had a beer

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:18, archived)