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Dear baldmonkey.
I have been going out with my girlfriend for a year and a half. Everything has been going well, but lately our ship's engines have stalled, we are miles from land, and below us the mighty kraken stirs.
What should we do?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:45, archived)
Split up.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:46, archived)
We may not have time.
The kraken is approaching.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:47, archived)
Her mum?

(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:50, archived)
or spice things up with chilli oil on the buttplug

(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:48, archived)
Figgin is done properly with Ginger

(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:50, archived)
Ah well, practice makes perverts.

(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:51, archived)
Familiarity breeds attempt.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:59, archived)
Famillial breeding results in mentalness.

(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 17:00, archived)
And Wicklow accents.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 17:02, archived)
professional
must try that
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:52, archived)
Dear Deardry

(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:47, archived)
please dry my deers
yours,
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:48, archived)
Swab the decks and shiver your timbers

(I helped save b3ta! Malaka omdz, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:50, archived)
Communication is important in a relationship.
Having said that, from hell's heart you should stab at her; for hate's sake you must spit your last breath at her.
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:53, archived)
Suggest a threesome, then ask her if both her sisters are free next time she nips out.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:56, archived)
Buy a scarf, I predict an onset of cold weather

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 17:01, archived)